Can't see...uggh...my fucking head...I feel like I've been hit by a fucking truck...I might just as well have been...if I could only remember correctly.

Need a stoge...naw, I quit! I promised her I would. She's not here now anyway, so what's the difference. Where's that lighter? Found it...good. Cigs? Got 'em. I'm feeling better already! But just this once, pal. You quit remember...you really want that sex back.

There I am, 12 years old all over again, feeling cool about lighting up. I could use a nice long...drag. Oh FUCK!!!

Get away, GET AWAY! GET AWAY!!! Was that...Mullins?! Shit, Jesus! It is Mullins!!! He's a fucking zombie! And a zombie with a shotgun?! My best friend is shooting at me! What the fuck happened to his face? What the fuck is this place! I hope I'm not bleeding...I AM bleeding! Can't waste time, the motherfucker's got my scent by now, gotta figure something out. No clue where I am or how I got here, so escape is not an option right now.

What did I just step in? Christ...poor guy...ripped wide open from the ground up...I think I'm gonna throw up...WAIT! He's got a gun...is it loaded? Please be loaded! Shit! Mullins! Can't see where I'm going, can't light up, wait a minute! Is Mullins alone? He's not! FUCK! Please be loaded! Steady, don't want to drop anything if it is...IT IS! Praise Jesus! Not much time...they're on the other side of this wall. Am I really doing this? Am I really about to kill my best friend since the sandbox? Yes, or at least what's left of him.

The thing's fully loaded...good. I'm a good shot, but what if one shot's not enough to do these suckers in? I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Moment of truth! Fuck, there's three of them! Here's hoping! Fire one! BA-BOOM! Took that piece of shit down! Fire two! BA-BOOM! Missed! FUCK! BA-BOOM! Got 'em! Your turn Mullins...sorry pal...but the way I see it...you're already dead...rest in peace, Pete. Can't look...I just can't...BA-BOOM! Got 'em, but he's still standing! BA-BOOM! He's hurt, but he's still coming at me! Jeeze, look at those fucking teeth! BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM! Blinded the fuck! But he's still standing! Oh shit, he's going apeshit! Just like his dog before it died. No more bullets...I'll borrow his friend's. Take this, you fuck! Empty...now the other? Shit! He's about to fire!

That was close! Dude can't see me but he can smell me alright. The other one's loaded! YES! Rest in peace, Petey boy. BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM! Down, finally! Fucking A...now to finish that stoge.

The last thing I remember was that we were coming home from Afghanistan. Good riddance. We busted our asses for those towel-headed pricks...wait not all of them were, just some of them. How glad I am to be an American...rather than have to put up with this shit on a daily basis. But it was all over. I got a going away present from this little girl who we rescued from terrorists. Nice kid...shame she's an orphan...could've adopted her...Lauren wants kids badly. I guess if I hadn't fallen asleep on the ride to the airport, I'd be a lot more knowledgeable as to how the situation at hand came to be...either that or I'd have ended up like Mullins and that other dude. I could never remember his name.

My name's Dave Nolan. I had a landscaping business. No matter how hard I've worked, I've scarcely been able to hold a job for more than 6 months. I guess I just don't know how to make money. Got married to one of my competitor's kids, bought out his business when he died, within a month it went to hell. My mother in law never forgave me for wrecking her husband's business. Like the old bitch could've done better herself.

I joined the army for two reasons, I needed the money, and Mullins would be dead in a week if I wasn't watching his ass. He was the best friend I ever had, but he was a wild motherfucker. He took too many risks. But he had a big heart, and if not for him, that little Afghan girl would've died.

I'm fucking starving...gotta hold back though...no chance in hell I'm gonna find a decent meal in this place. Even if I were a cannibal, I wouldn't have the stomach to eat these dead soldiers next to me. One way or another though, I gotta get the hell out of here.

They've all got extra ammo. A taser? Damn, it don't work; pieces missing. I'll just take your shotgun there, Pete. You won't be needing it anymore. Oh God, there's fucking worms all over them...his friends, too! They're been eaten by worms! If I ever get out of here alive, no more zombie flicks EVER. Only one decent thing I can do for these guys, since they won't receive a proper burial. FWOOF! Burn 'em up. God knows, maybe those worms will end up coming for me at some point. Better yet, fuck the worms. There's no telling what other bat-shit craziness I'm gonna find around here...something's following me...it's not Mullins, it's not the other dudes...it's heavy...good thing I've got enough juice here just in case.

Hello there, red eyes...just like the one's I used to see in my nightmares. Hungry aren't you? I've got plenty for you to eat, so come and get it! Where are you, you piece of shit? Come the fuck out! FUCK! I pissed myself. SHIT! FUCK! FUCKING HUGE!!! NO! Can't run away, it'll only catch up, but my God! Here's hoping...EAT FIRE, FUCKTARD!

BLAM! Down and out! Right in his mouth! Choke on it, asshole! For all I know, it could've been you that made my friend a zombie. Jeeze, it's pissed...it's up again...you want seconds? Here! BLAM! Blew out the sucker's eye! I've only got 3 shells left...better use 'em for something that really needs them. I can finish this prick off the old fashioned way...hard lead.

Five shots; two to the gut, two in the mouth, one misfire. Did I mention this thing is chasing me? It's a fast fucker considering it's wounded. Looks like a fat gargoyle. Definitely saw these in one of my nightmares! As much as I want to finish his ass off, I want to do it right...got to get a clear shot...can't miss either...this fucker has it in for me for what I fed him a minute ago. He wants me to help wash it down...open wide, shithead!

Five more shots right in the bastard's mouth did him in. Now I'm terrible at math, but if my math is correct it cost me about 15 shots to put this guy down. Something tells me there's more of these assholes running around here. Hopefully there's more weapons lying around because I'm gonna run out of ammo if I run into as little as five more of these guys.

Wherever I am, it's so fucking quiet, too fucking quiet. Not to try and be funny, but I'm beginning to prefer Afghanistan. The extreme quiet is really starting to get to me. It's as if I can only take one step at a time and scout the area around me before taking another step.

What happened to the thing I just shot? Where did it go? Don't tell me it's not dead! Gotta check it out. Did it decompose already? I guess so, because there's plenty of residue, and no tracks of it leading anywhere. I need a closer look. Gotta conserve my lighter fluid, it's running low. FWOOOOOOOOF!!

HOLY JESUS FUCK! That was the biggest geyser of flames I've ever seen! Bad idea, Dave! Bad idea! It was dead, you should've left it be. Damn near burned my face off. Good God! It's slowing down now...enough of this shit...I gotta find a way out of here.

There's a strange light up ahead. It could be a bad sign, but it's better than sitting around waiting to die...God damn, I'm so fucking hungry! I'd have eaten that corpse if it hadn't have decomposed. What the fuck am I saying?!! I can't eat that!! Get a grip, David! Don't strain yourself, you need to save all the energy you can if you have any hope of ever getting out of this place.

Walk...don't run...that's it! Walk...walk...walk...steady...you're almost there...wherever you are, one thing's for sure, it's late at night...not like daylight could brighten up this shithole anyhow. SO FUCKING HUNGRY! I feel like I haven't eaten for a week...and I've actually experienced that before...days without food or water...and being in Afghanistan...in the middle of the desert...it's fucking horrible...no, no this is much worse...is that fire...following me?

That'd be just what I need. I'm closer to figuring out where I am at least...but then I wonder...do I want to know...is it worth knowing...should I just say "fuck it" and blow my fucking brains out right here? I should at least find out where I am first...I'll do it.

Oh, I see it now. It's a big white metal room, with a long window...looks like I'm up in the mountains. Agh...the bright lights really sting your eyes when you're grounded in darkness for a while. At first glance, it looks like I'm in some sort of base, but of all the bases I've been to, this is definitely not one of ours...and it can't be a base for Muslim terrorists, although it certainly fits their charming personalities. Fuck...is that Earth...in the sky...I knew I was far from home...but I didn't think I could be this far...damn...fuck! It's getting hot in here...it's that fire...I knew it...the fire is getting worse...and it IS following me...but what is that...in the flames...no fucking way...my only chance out of here is through that window. I'm in space, I can't breath out there, and some flaming monster is approaching me. I don't have much of a chance at this point...but if...by some act of God...I can get out of this...I think there's a way...stop thinking, idiot, and look around!

This could be it...Lauren, I love you, babe...I'm sorry I wasn't a better husband...but if I can get out of here, I'll promise we'll have that kid.