• When Men Talk Dirty To Women...It's Sexual Harassment. When Women Talk Dirty to Men...It's 3.95 per Minute.

• "Our next DoA game will be strictly for adults. It will feature all of the DoA girls, and few new ones. The story revolves around a serial killer on the loose as the girls all get together at their sorority. This game will be called 'Dead or Alive Xtreme Slumber Party Massacre.'"

• Sex is not the answer. Yes is the answer. Sex is the question

• “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

• You're half right: Heaven does not, in fact, want you, but Hell is not the least bit concerned that you might take over

• "Imagination is more important than knowledge" Albert Einstein

• "Sometimes we must sacrifice leisure so that we may have leisure, just as we must go to war in order to have peace.” Aristotle

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

• A good, decent person will trust their heart & instincts, than trust popular opinion! For instincts are the building blocks of individuality!!

• "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to stress. Stress leads to doobies and doobies lead to Twinkies."

• Q: How many DBZ characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  A: One, but it takes three episodes.

• A wad of pink chewing gum with serious eating disorders could never be the greatest villain of all time....

• "If you consider opera as a form of entertainment, then I consider falling off a building a form of transportation!"

• If Crono is Jesus, then Magus is Santa Clause.

• Life is the leading cause of death.

• "God has a sense of humor to. Just look at the platypus" -the disclaimer in Dogma

• Not wanting to have anything to do with Star Wars is like not wanting sex.

• Consider, petting a cat feels good. Petting a girl feels good. Petting a cat girl would feel really, really good.

• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

• Yea, okay, maybe this would be a decent and fun game if you weren't resigned to playing games with cocky 12 year olds and the scum of the Internet. MMM, boy! Nothing says fun like illiterate jerks that shout in the middle of a game, "IM GONNA RA PE U HAHAHA!! 1" or "DONT TKAE MY FUKING KILL U HORE" or the experienced creeps whom cruise the newbie rooms looking for easy kills and lots of money. Frankly, playing with these people makes me ill, and if you're one of these people, I really hope your f---ing testicles rot off because the LAST f---ing thing we need on this planet IS MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

• Seriously, the Navy is out there every day, defending us from pirates, and Godzilla.

• "Fate protects fools, children, and ships named Enterprise" ~William Riker

• Only in silent hill can you argue with a demon about astrophysics

• It's kind of like Identity, how when you find out the true identity of the characters, all the time they spent making each individual special (and they did a lot of that) and unique and something for you to care about is just thrown away. I mean, I was ready to walk out of the theatre; I no longer cared about the characters due to what they were.

• "Only the dead have seen the end of war." – Plato

• Heather is nothing more than a cluster of pixels and colors made to look like a girl.
  By your logic, a "real" girl is nothing but a cluster of well-formed molecules. The same that are found on every other human being, even the ugly ones. And also, you are not seeing those girls; you are seeing the different shades of light reflected off of the molecules. If pixels were solid, I'd have sex with them and you would too.

• You cannot win an argument, when arguing with an idiot.

• People who can't distinguish reality from fantasy shouldn't play Vice City so that they can't use the game as an excuse.

• "Be the change you want to see in the world." –Gandhi

• God is love. Love is blind. Ray Charles is blind. Therefore, Ray Charles is God.

• I think Matrix Revolutions can best be described as a two hour long episode of Dragon Ball Z guest starring Jesus.

• I love God. I just can't stand some of his fanboys.

• "Saying the Xbox is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made a great painting because you used the best set of paints."

• Hey Jesus, if God is so great, why does the N-Gage exist?

• "If video games inspire children to kill, then I should be running around shooting fire balls at mushrooms"

• Why must all my topics fail?

      Select one of the following.

      A) Because you touch yourself at night.
      B) Because you didn't lead with your left foot!
      C) You're not Bender! Bender PWNs all!
      D) You didn't believe in the Heart of the Topics!

• Those who live by the sword are shot by those who don't.

• Anatidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

• Some people think that Christmas has gotten too commercial over the years, and is no longer worth celebrating. Those people are communists. Christmas rules don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

• Ketchup should never, ever be involved in a sexual act. Ever.

• "The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just."  -- Abraham Lincoln

• "You're a moron striving to be an idiot"

• "I love mankind. It's people I can't stand." - Linus Van Pelt, Peanuts

• I don't think small hound dogs could cause earthquakes...

• Everything has an opposite. The opposite of black is white, the opposite of dark - light. The opposite of good is evil, while the opposite of sex is marriage.

• Sesshomaru vs. Sephiroth: Which Silver haired freak can kill the other first? They would combine into one, and become the all-powerful chick magnet, Sesshomiroth!

• We are part of the food chain, we just happen to be the top of it.

• War is not the answer. Victory is.

• "Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics, but kinkiness requires engineering."

• "No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy."

• I wouldn't visit Mexico not knowing enough of the language for basic communication, let alone LIVE there. We cater far too much for people who refuse to learn the language and I'm sick of relying on six-year olds translating "how would you like to pay for this @#$!" to their stupid parents.

• "Education is no substitute for intelligence."

• Meh. Uncut sailor moon is basically soft-core porn with better music. ScarletFenix on Sailor Moon

• R. Dorothy. Because you're never too old to play with dolls.

• Bravery is not the absence of fear but the power to overcome it

• Oh yeah. Mariazipan and Pyramid Bad. Homestar is punished for killing the fichus plant

• I think aeris is hot; I would do her dead booty all over neverland

• Since when did sliced bread become the complete zenith of the human evolutionary pattern?

• Support Teen Angst: Call your friends ugly!

• Stephen Hawkins is a total twink. It's obvious he took a bunch of Flaws to get that super-high INT score. -The Angry Duck

• In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evils might beware my power, Green Lantern's light!

• I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away. -Jack Handey

• People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

• “Every time I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone." -Mark Twain on Jane Austin

• You are never to old to do things that you enjoy -- or to find new things to enjoy -- especially if the only type of limberness required is mental.

• Can of beans > Resident Evil movie

• Ghostbusters 3: Venkmann and Van Helsing

• Just tell your DM you couldn't make it to session this Tuesday because you were getting stoned. He'll understand. D&D --- My Anti-Drug

• The one thing I learned from Cardcaptor Sakura: 10-year-old anime girls CAN be very hot...

• Yes, please explain how the tale a red demon-man with a ****in' giant stone fist that fights mystical neo-nazi robots and tentacle creatures is anything like the Matrix. I am very interested. Please enlighten me.

• Now you have a group of slow zombies, their not going to instantly go from 0-60, so now you actually have time to think. Think about your death, you can run but you can’t run forever. You'd be in a house backed into a corner. Slow moving zombies would be worse cuz you'd be sitting there all that time thinking about your death with no where to go. Fast moving zombies is just going to super kick you through a wall, run 15laps before you hit the ground then eat you.

• "Great evil hides at court. Everyday evil hides in a crowd."

• I know one thing. I'd be buying that comic. Juggernaut/Ben Grimm/Wolverine poker nights sound so good they should just make a comic based off of that.

• Frank Quietly... his women look like men, Emma looked Asian, Wolverine looks like razor roman the wrestler and has a stupid soul patch that is out of place, and Cyclops looks like al gore with a visor!

• "If thinking DMC is better than Ninja Gaiden makes me blatantly arrogant, then I am proud to be blatantly arrogant!"

• If you think all TV is crap, then I seriously doubt your enjoyment of movies.
  What kind of freak logic is that? That's like saying "if you hate tuna sandwiches, you must be afraid of airplanes

• You are as funny as a parakeet in heat.
  C'mon, that's bound to be pretty funny.

• Common sense is your friend, try using it occasionally.

• I don't need no instructions to know how to ROCK!

• Words to live by:  Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

• Yeah Hellboy is real. I saw him at Taco Bell last night eating a Gordita.

• General audiences became impatient lunkheads that wouldn't know real dread from a guy yelling "boo!"

• "I wish the world was a fly and I was a rolled up newspaper."

• The day that Rockstar falls will be a great day.

• Tetris reminds me of sex. Stuff connects, things build up, the pace quickens and then a weird noise is made and GAME OVER...

• New Zealand = infested with sheep.

• My life is just like it was in high school, still bald, still single, STILL LOVIN' IT!

• Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to PICS NOW!

• Last June, a nine-year-old Indian girl was married to a dog near Calcutta after a priest told her parents the wedding would ward off evil.

• Final Fantasy X-2 it's possible there won't be anymore good FF because of this one.

• Suicide is man's way of saying, "God, you can't fire me! I quit!"

• "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax"--Albert Einstein

• Bridget: Confusing heterosexual boys since 2002

• Batman has had sex with every woman in DC, half the women in marvel, and the Martian Manhunter.

• Some say that ninjas own the night, if that's the case; Snake Eyes owns the whole 24 hours.

• #1 rule of the Internet: It's probably not a girl

• "We are who we choose to be."

• "Coincidence is an excuse used by fools and liars."

• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

• "Gonads are useful for their purpose, but they are no substitute for brains." --Paul Harvey

• Darkseid should have a list of daily things to do:
  -Conquer/destroy Earth
  -Humiliate/destroy Superman
  -Punish minions. Promote minions. Punish promoted minions.
  -Pick up quart of milk at Trans-World Quickie Mart
  -Don't lose freakin' Doomsday!

• Hardcore certainly ISN'T wrestling. Benoit is wrestling. I am not impressed by people who are prepared to land on a thousand thumbtacks or land on exploding barbed-wire boards. Any idiot foolish enough can do that crap. But I digress.

• A Latino and an Englishman pretending to be Italian Brothers!? BRILLIANT!

• "Music! Graphics! Sound! Gameplay! Plot! When your powers combine, I am Secret of Mana!"- Vegita on Secret of Mana

• The only thing Batman REALLY did in that fight was think of using Kryptonite against Superman... Which really, isn't that great a logical leap.

• Lesson 1: Despite what New Age Kindergarten teachers may have you believe, opinions can, and often are, wrong. If it's your opinion the world is flat, you're wrong.

• When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. --Wilson Mizner

• "I believe animals have rights...to garlic and butter." -Ted Nugent

• Marvel needs to bring back “What if?” They could have "What if Chuck Austen didn't **** up the X-Men”

• I have never liked comics I've loved the characters.

• Life has 4 stages: You believe in Santa, you don't believe in Santa, you are Santa, and you look like Santa

• I don't know if Bond could catch Lupin, but I'm 100% certain that Bond will bang Fujiko in the process.

• When you say "no offense," you mean, "Please don't kick my ass."

• "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." `~John F. Kennedy

• Silver Surfer vs. Raziel in a "You think you have it bad?" Match

      Mystique vs. Madonna
      Madonna is fugly now. Mystique is the MILF of the new millennium.

      The Blob V.S. A subway sandwich.
      Blob will eat anything.
      Wolverine V.S. A Gillete Mach 3 blade and a bottle of aftershave.
      Wolverine's hair grows back fast.
      Cyclops V.S. The Sun Glasses Hut.
      Unless it's a Ruby Quartz Sun Glasses Hut, it ain't gonna stop Cyke.
      Spider-Man V.S. The drycleaner guy.
      Spidey overcomes all in the end, even dry cleaning.
      The Punisher V.S. The 3-Day waiting period to buy a firearm.
      Frank would pull a scene straight out of Terminator.
      Mr. Freeze V.S. The cashier at Baskin Robbins

      And Freeze suffers no Ice Cream Man!!

• Venom Vs Batman: what makes you think he would not win against a symbiote controlled by a psychopathic reporter???

      I'd say you answered your own question.

      Psychopathic - highly violent, unreasonable, and unpredictable. Extremely dangerous.

      Reporter - Remorseless, bottom-feeding mercenary lowlife with nothing to lose. An English major without a soul. Put them both together, and you get a violent, unpredictable demon that will stop at nothing to cash in on a hot       story. In this case, the headline "I JUST RIPPED BATMAN'S NUTS OUT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. HOW MUCH OF A BADASS AM I? More news as events unfold."

• I know my views are unpopular but I do not aim for popularity - Monty Python

• Yeah, big change for Squall, he went from a whiney introverted loser to a slightly less whiney introverted loser with a girlfriend. Actually, he went from whiney introverted loser to more whiney extroverted crybaby with a girlfriend.

• Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun collection.

• It shouldn't have been called "The Day After Tomorrow." It should have been called "HEY LOOK WHAT WE CAN DO WITH COMPUTERS NOWADAYS!!!!"

• Make others happy and joyful. Your happiness will multiply a thousand fold.
  --- Swami Sivananda

• Final Fantasy will be soft-core porn well before FF69, maybe hard-core around the early or mid forties

• Transformers. Yeah, the upcoming film is based on the craptacular Marvel comics rather than the cartoon. I'd rather watch Michael Moore's newest delusion than anything based on the horrid mistake that was Marvel's Transformers. So pardon me if I want something based on the real Transformers.

• I look at it like this: remember in the Matrix Reloaded when Neo uses that signpost on all the Smiths? Weapon Finesse with a bludgeoning weapon would be a lot like that. With better dialogue.

• I got cancer from watching Van Helsing...

• Picard is more British than French, you see, if he was fully French, the Enterprise would have surrendered ages ago

• Wow, he has the potential to be the smartest person on the face of the earth, but he can't incinerate people, punch their heads off, or mind **** them...so he sucks!
  ...Is this what the world of comics have come to...where even if you are gifted/cursed with special abilities...your really only special if you can cause massive amount of physical damage on the world...sad people...sad...

• Star Wars Episode 3:EVEN CRAPPIER!

• That really inhales air through a straw.

• The blood drive is nothing more than a pyramid scheme headed by Dracula's minions in order to resurrect him again.

• Inspector Gadget versus Richard Moore... The winner: Anyone who wants to commit a crime.

• Jesus saves...and takes half damage.

• "If Lemon Tea Snapple is king of the Snapples, the Mint Tea is the frigging pope!" ~Megasquid Man

• Moore also paints America like its police state of Joseph Stalin. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! If it were a police state then Moore would be hanging from a metal hook right now.

• "I sometimes think that God, in creating the Pug, somewhat underestimated his ability."

• "Fish don't have feelings, son. They're made out of foam latex."

• Alone is an unfortunate predicament. Lone is an aesthetic choice.

• A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

• Both X-men movies were great, weren't they? I mean if you enjoy senseless action scenes, no character development for either the good or bad guys, pointless and boring plot lines, no fleshing out of enemies whatsoever, dialog that firmly establishes it as a B-movie, and if you're going to be nitpicky - horrendously bad adaptations of powers. I won't even mention the black leather outfits, which date the movie horribly.

• They say an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. I say that's simply a slap in the face of Christianity. If Bhudda had said take an eye for an eye, everyone would have loved the idea, but no, it was God who said it, so people try and belittle it and act as though it's a barbaric philosophy.

• Doom proceeds to watch his tape of Monday night raw from the previous night that he missed. By the end of the show, his favorite wrestler Chris Benoit has been screwed out of the WWF championship and HHH is once again champ!
  CURSE YOU REED RICHARDS!

• Every YGO player needs three things. A computer with Internet access, a lot of tolerance for little kids, and a big ass shotgun.

• We don't need a movie where a guy runs around trying to open locked doors for two hours.

• Heroic vampires have ambition, to protect the world from the dangers of the night like Magneto, Parallax and bloodsucking hobos.

• People who didn't understand the cake scene have NO right to criticize the movie at all.
  Let me explain this to the uninformed masses: the girl has no prospects. She's doomed to live in the apartment for the rest of her life, poor. She could as easily run away or commit suicide. But she DOESN'T. She finds relief in improving other people's lives. It's because of her kindness that Peter Parker realizes that there ARE people worth fighting for in the world. After reading this, if you still feel the need to make lame wisecracks about her "ugliness", then you're pathetic.

• Venom = the best spidey villan. Disagree? Too bad.

    Even if you spelled villain correctly, I'd still disagree with you.

• Venom, Who is only a threat because of the Symbiote...a Symbiote that could be beaten by anyone with a good stereo.

• You ever heard that song "Anything you can do, I can do better"? That's Goblin's theme song when he's compared to Venom.

• Killing random people evil. Spending the rest of your life to ruin the life of one man...beyond evil. Actually doing it, and taking away the most important things to him...that's priceless.

• If a woman wants to earn my love, she'll have to frag my ass in UT2004.

• I second the Iceman icing up. I want to see him use his powers in less lame ways. He has so much potential it's ridiculous. When that big flood was coming in X2 towards the end I was expecting it to just suddenly freeze or something. It would have been much better that way.

• The movie isn't about 9/11; it is about Moore's hatred for Conservatives. He's a fine self-promoting propagandist, and that's it. I also suspect he's good at eating ribs, lots and lots of ribs.

• Doctor Doom Vs Batman. Doom makes a nuclear device, and destroys Gotham. Then, Doom goes and plays Ghostbusters II on his Commodore 64.

• Like any man in a purple miniskirt, with a pink bucket on his head, Galactus stands alone.

• The Tick and Punisher - How long before Frank eats a bullet just to escape...

• With Alien Vs Predator, what’s next? Jesus vs. Colin Mochrie

• How would YOU stop a demon? Get a bigger demon.

• "Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway." ~John Wayne

• Vegetarian food sucks, and anyone who doesn't agree with me can go eat a pig.

• Voice - It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell's half acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one eyed mad man. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for blood.
  Shake: What, no bacon?
  Voice: Bacon is extra!

• "Large egos are carried by small minds" - Hwa Rang Do

• He should change into Optimus Primal! BEAST BOY! MAXIMIZE!

• I agree that Snake should die as a HERO! It should be an honorable death, not like he's sitting on the crapper and BOOM! Foxdie kicks in.-greyfox102

• Don't be stupid, kids -- You see a monster, you run your ass off.

• Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

• PETER: I was wondering if I could get paid in advanced.
  J.J: WHAT?
  PETER: My pay, in advanced
  J.J: WHAT?
  PETER: ...JJ?
  J.J: WHAT?
  PETER: ....
  J.J: YE-AH!
  PETER: Ye..yeah?
  J.J: NO, YOU'RE FIRED!

• You can always die. It’s living that takes courage. - Rurouni Kenshin, Kenshin Himura

• A DBZ fan calling Family Guy as the worst cartoon ever is like an ICP fan calling Led Zepplin as the worst band ever

• The girls you saw were probably part of the subspecies of humans that I like to call idiots.

• Superman: Noun. The most ass kicking good guy this side of Heaven. See also: SUPERHERO.

• The day Americans become the dumbest people on the planet is the day that Michael Moore is elected the President of the United States.

• The movie super size me basically tells the story of a bunch of know-it-all asses trying to capitalize on American’s hyperactive vanity?

• Prof: "Join us."

    Blob: "No way, you're all a bunch of nerds."

    Prof: "Whoop his ass, my X-Men!"

• If I want eye candy, I'll d/l porn

• The average white male is the most discriminated race and gender in our world today. Lucky us.

• Thor: 'I have vanquished Ulik, Enchantress, and that miscreant Darkseid! Verily, 'tis Miller Time!'

• "Yes, I do believe in God. That doesn't mean I believe God spoke to Pat Robertson and told him to ask me to send in my money."

• The Scarecrow once proclaimed himself the God of Fear. Of course Batman then just beat the snot out of him like normal.

• I think that people, who think a samurai can defeat a knight with no problem, and that katanas are the ultimate melee weapon, have seen too much anime, and too much Samurai Jack.

• If wolves could make Chicken Parmesan they would.

• Destroy the universe! God this happens so many times I think the Universe has Auto-Life equipped.

• Professor X: "Where are you taking me?"
  Mr. Sinister: "To the one true enemy of the great Charles Xavier...Stairs."

• "It is just as clear, Aayla, when pacifism becomes evil. If beings are capable of protecting others but refuse to take action to preserve their own sense of peace, they are being selfish. They place themselves and their sense of peace over the peace of others, and so they defend a philosophy instead of lives. In this way, they fail everyone. This is where their choice is evil." - The Clone Wars Short Stories

• Women are like Voltron; the more you can hook up, the better it gets.

• All right... lets put it this way... how do you think Kerry would have taken 9/11...
  He would have brought Osama into the White House to negotiate a peace treaty, only to be blown up by the nuke Osama was carrying in his briefcase.

• At least Kerry is articulate. Bush with his words like "Sovereigninity," there is something unsettling about that.
  Stephen Hawking lacks the ability to speak correctly whatsoever...

• Featuring Bizarro Wolverine. He has claws on his feet and spoons for fingers. He hates beer, but loves corn. -House T

• Dr. Doom Vs. SSX dude
  ::Doom Gets hit in the head by a snow ball::
  ::Doom pulls out gun, shoots SSX dude point-blank::
  Doom: **** this! Get him Doombots!

• How do I make friends with anime fangirls?

    Well, in creating this topic, you've pretty much given up all rights to your dignity.

• If the movie was corny and tried to come off as serious, that’s when a movie sucks.

• Aunt May would just trip Juggernaut with her cane, and Juggernaut would tumble endlessly, arms and legs flailing as he disappeared over the horizon, because nothing can stop the Juggernaut.

• Learn well these lessons, young man. May they serve you well. Bring offerings of fan fiction. Be it straight or yaoi, depending on the particular fangirl (yes, I've encountered some that dislike yaoi). Be armed, but keep it concealed. You never want to confront a fangirl without proper means of protection. If it can drop a tank, it should be just enough.
  Be patient. they can be shy and timid at first. Show them your appreciation for the color pink. If you enrage even one of them run. They will swarm you. If a swarm has already begun, get to a safe zone, and call in a high-yield nuclear warhead. Your sacrifice will be honored.

• My two daughters (age 3 and 1) just love the box of doubles I gave them. They love to put them in there mouths, and chew on them, and give them to the dogs, and bury them in the backyard, and dip them in their milk, and throw rocks at them (I have caught them doing every one of these things). I have even caught the three year old dropping them in the toilet. When I asked her why...she told me she liked the sound they made when they "PLOPPED" into the water! Worthless toys for toddlers!
  -
  On the other hand...if a soldier ran out of mortar shells...he could stick a bag of heroclix (provided by the taxpayer) down in the mortar gun and fire at the enemy! Can you imagine the look on the Iraqi soldiers face when he looks up in the sky and sees an Ultimate Thor about to bring down the thunder on him!!!!!

• "The politically correct won't rest until we all refer to each other as Comrade."

• When you say He-Man, people think about Prince Adam prancing around in his fruity pink clothes and Skeletor laughing like a moron. Or perhaps they think of Dolph Lundgren, which is never a pleasant thought.

• God's job is to forgive Bin Laden; our job is to arrange the meeting.

• Spidey teaches kids: "Be like me and jump out the way of danger."
  Wolvie teaches kids: "You can take a shotgun to the face. You're unkillable."

• Wolverine! Wolverine!
  Murders ninjas like a machine!
  Screwing con...tinuity
  it’s his responsibility
  WATCH OUT! Here comes the Wolverine!

• The only Punisher fans that could hate the second film are the ones who don't realize that he's more than an angry man with a gun. <---Fact.

• Yep because killing terrorists, who are murderers, who are out to kill as many people as possible, scum of the earth and no one will defend them as anything else, is exactly like Hitler killing off upwards of ten million people that didn't meet their standards of "ethnic purity". Yep I can see how the two can be compared.

• That doesn't change facts though, Osama may have led a small rebel group to attack a large country for religious/political reasons, but George W. led the military of an entire country to attack a smaller country for economic reasons. In my mind that's worse
  
  WHAT?! Are you a complete moron?!
  Okay, I knew there would be ultra liberal responses, but this just pisses me off.
  Osama Bin Laden hijacked 4 aircraft and killed THREE THOUSAND INNOCENT PEOPLE in an act of terrorism. Not combatants. Innocent people. 3,000 in a single attack. Yes, innocent people have died in Iraq. But that is during wartime. You cannot expect to have a war without some innocent casualties. It's inevitable. But the US soldiers in Iraq aren't purposefully targeting innocent people the way Osama did.
  
  If the world knows ONE thing about America, it is that you DO NOT **** with America, because America will kick your ass.
  And if you say that the deaths of 3,000 people isn't enough to kill every last scumbag terrorist from the face of the planet, then I have no respect for you in the least.
  You sicken me.

• My choices would be Superman (after all he's really why superheroes are called super) and Captain America (he pretty much what I wanted to be when I grew up but fell far short of the goal. He embodies every cherished ideal I have about being an American). I was always impressed by heroes with a strong moral fiber, principles, and are honorable to a fault (and these two are about as straight and narrow as superheroes get). It something almost every current "popular" comic book character seem to be missing nowadays which makes me wonder why we bother calling them "heroes" at all.

• Because he is a crappy character. No one wants to be the avatar of EMO.
  Squall: Shut up. All of you. I am hardcore. You're an idiot, you're and idiot, you're an idiot. ... ... ...*Goes to cry in corner because he is lonely*.
  Also, his relationship is stupid.
  Rinoa: seckz me now!
  Squall: ...
  Rinoa: seckz plz
  Squall: ...
  Rinoa: OH NOES COMA
  Squall: wait, I think I love you.
  *Bad story ensues*

• Any name has to be better than squall. The dictionary definition of squall is: "To blow strongly for a brief period." Which I think describes him as well as FF8 in general.

• Activate interlocks!
  Dynatherm connected!
  Infercells up!
  Mega thrusters are go!
  Let's go Voltron Force!

• Moore is a genious

    If you spelt "genius" genious for effect then good joke. But if you spelt genius       genious and actually thought that way whilst liking Michael Moore, then God           have mercy on your soul.

• SH5: The Return of That Thing in Toluca Prison Behind the Bars That Triggered the Auto Aim and You Could Kill but Could Never See

• All Halo 2 is going to kill is a bunch of fanboys hearts when they open the box and find that God isn't inside. –Codester

• *Inuyasha gets his ass kicked by Goku, but then turns into Super Hyper Demon Master Ninja Level 3. Goku gets his ass kicked for half an hour, and then tells Inuyasha that he's been holding back, allowing his ass to be kicked for no apparent reason. Goku turns into 100% Power Ascended Super Saijin Jedi Warrior and takes the advantage. The battle goes back and forth for several filler episodes, as Japan is about to explode within 5 minutes. In the end, most fall asleep before there is a decided winner.

• If speaking well was a sign of how smart you are, then used car salesmen would be beyond Einstein.

• "Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist." ~Michael Levine

• If you truly have nothing better to do than try to offend people, you're either a really sad and pathetic individual, or a stand-up comedian.

• By far, the most glorified rank of craptitude belongs to a young, suggestive Speedo-clad, blue skinned madman wearing a green mullet, spouting the most gut-wrenchingly bad catchphrases known to existence -- Captain Planet. The worst part about that cartoon is that some poor **** has to look back on the early nineties and realize what horror he unleashed upon the world. I can't imagine how that person keeps from committing suicide.

• Jesus was obviously black. He called everyone brother, got beaten up by law enforcement and couldn't get a fair trial.

    So he called everyone "brother"... maybe Hulk Hogan is Jesus.

• "This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces, It is not God who kills the children. Not Fate that butchers them or Destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." --Rorshach, The Watchmen

• Filler is a term used for scenes in the anime that was not in the manga. Most Japanese cartoons (anime) began as a Japanese comic (manga). People around here think manga is Gospel, and therefore anything that is "filler" is deemed nonexistent. ~Kaiokenshoryuken

• I'm thoroughly convinced the world's worst movie would be written by Kevin Smith, directed by Quentin Tarantino and star Julia Roberts and the Wayans Brothers.

• The gay marriage issue is the biggest fight over semantics in the history of mankind.

• Willem Dafoe is Christopher Walken before you add water. ~ Dennis Miller

• Violent video games, T.V. shows and movies don't make people violent, look at Jack the Ripper and all the other psychos of the past.

• The Matrix was an okay action movie with some philosophy thrown in here and there, with a satisfactory ending. Reloaded and Revolutions were shameless cash-in attempts that ended up making people hate the franchise more than anything else. One thing that gets me when people praise the Matrix is when they call it original. NOTHING in it is original. The plot was stolen from Plato's Allegory of The Cave, and the slow-mo fighting has been done in hundreds of HK kung-fu movies. This doesn’t mean it's bad, but it's not original.

• So a bunch of unoriginality thrown together = original?

• Oh I understood it perfectly, but it still sucked. Just because a story is intricate, doesn’t make it good by any means.

• Rinoa, definitely. I despise her more than any other RPG character I've encountered. The Timber Owls are right to call her a princess. She constantly acts like Squall is her subject, created to fulfill her unrelenting demands; she forces him into a relationship he does not want or need. In addition, her emotional insecurity and mental weakness are extremely aggravating.

• I hear you have to develop a taste for it, but I'm not going to wait for something to taste good, especially when it's bad for me in the first place.

• Please people; fags like you give honest, hardworking homosexuals a bad name.

• Cats land on their feet. Toast lands peanut butter side down. A cat with toast strapped to its back will hover above the ground in a state of quantum indecision.

• Note: Studying history though videogames, while entertaining, is not always the best way to learn.

• Only one Godzilla movie can boast having God as a cast member (of course, he was working under his Hollywood alias of Jean Reno).

• In a world of cynicism and hate, someone with the guts not only to have ideals, but to uphold them is worth admiring.

• Anyways, you can't really tell which one is better based off of who destroyed them. They all end up getting beaten up by some loser group that shouldn't even be able to beat the first boss... looking at it the brave heroes of the FF series...
  FF1- 4 wierdos that came out of nowhere.
  FF2- 4 orphans
  FF3- again, 4 orphans
  FF4- A reformed knight, a guy with the abilities of virtually every platformer game, a girl with arrows, a girl with a whip and a ninja.
  FF5- A Wanderer, a princess, a pirate captain, and a little girl
  FF6- *Long breath* A half-breed, a thief, a king-mechanic, a guy who punches things, a teddybear/bat hybrid, a ninja, a gambler, a Tarzan-wannabe, a 12 year who likes to draw things, an old man, A slightly younger old man, an ex-general, a yeti and a... thing
  FF7- A failed experiment with a big sword, a guy with a gun for an arm, a ninja-in-training, a pilot/inventor, A wiry girl who punches things, a dog-like thing, another failed experiment, and another... thing
  FF8- *Snicker* An anti-social boy, a spaz, a ditz, a failed teacher, a womanizing sniper, and an overly-sheltered "rebel."
  FF9- A guy with a monkey tail, a black mage that comes up to my knees, a princess-summoner, a summoner that is, what, 6? The captain of the lowest-ranked military squad, a rat with the ability to jump high, a guy who left less of an impression on my mind than any other character of any other game, and yet another... thing.
  FF10- A spaz-jock, a warrior who is probably better than everyone on this list combined, a summoner, another jock, a thief/mechanic and a black-mage with cleavage.

• Honor
  The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.

• Commitment
  To fight when others fold, pursue while others retreat, conquer while others quit, and make right when all else is wrong.

• Courage
  The most courageous people are not always the ones who win... But the ones who never gives up.

• Determination
  In the heart of the strong shines a relentless ray of resolve... It cannot be stopped, it cannot be controlled, and it will not fail.

• Who would win, Carnage or Cyclops?

     The only hope Cyclops has is if the Carnage symbiotic is merged with a female telepath. Otherwise, he's got no chance.

• On the 12 day of Christmas Wizkids gave to me

      Twelve Range of Statesman
      Eleven Peters Pouncing
      Ten Flaming Fire Lords
      Nine Blades a'slashing
      Eight Deathstrokes Pushing
      Seven Types of Superman.
      Six Elektras Annoying
      Five Wizkids rings,
      Four squares of range,
      A Three point pog,
      Two Con Artists perplexing
      And a bright shiny new LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

• Juggernaut is like Godzilla. When he shows up, the (Japanese) military could throw tanks, fighter jets, and missiles at him all day long, and it won't do much more than annoy him. But when another hulking creature shows up, Juggy or Big G have a fight on their hands. And they're going to feel it in the morning.

• Using his telekinetic powers, Amazo summoned the world's greatest heroes! Brock Sampson, epitome of badassness! Mr. T, the wild Negro who can throw people HELLA FAR! And Guybrush Threepwood, a young man whose pants are about as deep as his wit.... and we mean that as a compliment!

• Fantastic Four VS Captain Planet

     How can the FF not win? Captain Planet's villains don't have the most impressive super-powers, most of the time they're just misguided business folk who go around polluting because, I don't know, probably because the only way they can achieve sexual climax is filling wetlands with radioactive goop. You can tell the pineapple looking dude is totally flogging the bishop while logging the rainforest.

• This is DC we are talking about here, people. The formula is:
  1) Find a character people love
  2) Find an actor people hate
  3) Add rubber suit and nipples
  4) Stir
  5) Enjoy

• The Queen Alien Vs Nemesis Vs Drake!

    Nemesis would cut the Alien Queen and then she would bleed acid on him, melting his stupid little rubber suit, causing him to cry, since he still has feelings for Milla... and also for the fact that he was in a stupid movie. Drake will drink coffee while watching all this nonsense.

• Streetfighterdan: Ten years...INTO THE COMIC FUTURE!

      Stardrifter001: …the future, Dan.

      Auburn: That's right Stardrfiter. The future, All the way to the year 2000.

      In another 10 years -
      ...Batman will have gone through 5 more Robins, each getting killed quicker than the previous, until Alfred is finally forced to report Bruce to Social Services for child endangerment.

      In the year two thousand!
      ...Superman will change his costume and get a haircut plus get new powers in yet   another lame attempt to boost lagging interest in the 60+ legacy. After a few months, the fans cry out to bring back the classic look. The editors next decide to create controversy by killing off Superman again, this time for good, to be replaced by the older Superboy, who's come into his full power and is now a man. Sales spike to an all time high as the buzz for the book grabs a whole new crop of readers. Sadly sales soon plummet after several months once the buzz wears off  and the writing falls back into the same rut it always does and in a moment of weakness to save the book from cancellation, the original Superman is resurrected and brought back to the book. The status quo is once again restored.

      In the year two thousand!
      ...Wolverine will be featured in every Marvel book, as several Wolverine fanboys group and manage to get jobs in the Marvel offices. He will be on every team book and guest star in every one else's book to keep sales up. Angry anti-Wolvie fans are left with no other choice than to storm Marvel's offices and hold the editors and writers hostage until this policy is overturned.

      In the year two thousand!
      …Wolverine will meet his untimely death in the pages of his own book, Wolverine. He still manages to appear in every other Marvel title.

 

      In the year two thousand!

      …Captain America's jobber aura becomes so strong that he disables the powers of the entire Avengers team. Dr. Doom beheads them all shortly afterward.

      In the year two thousand!

      …Deadpool will FINALLY get his own book as he so richly deserves, only to partnered with Wolverine two issues later.

      In the year two thousand!

      ...Wolverine will only appear in one book. It will also be the only Marvel book published.

• Of course he fapped on a comatose Asuka. Hell, I've fapped on a comatose Asuka. Even my father's fapped on a comatose Asuka. Nowadays, when we have family reunions, we gather round the glowing box, and all fap on a comatose Asuka. Except Cousin Quinton, but we think he's a bit odd.

• Well, John Woo's directing the He-Man flick.

      Does this mean that doves will fly out at some point in the movie?

      Maybe when He-Man clashes with Skeletor, that dragon from the Herculoids will fly by in slow motion.

• What would you do if you came face to face with the Devil?

    I'd poke him in the eyes 3 Stooges style. God help me if he did the blocky thingy.

• Is Uwe Boll the worst director working in cinema today? If House of the Dead asked that question, Alone in the Dark answers it (yes, he is).

• Zombies don't tap dance, they eat people. - Android 247

• Uwe Boll's Next VG Movie Announced: Katamari Damacy

      Yes, Uwe Boll has announced that he will not only direct and write the movie, but he will star in it. Plot: Uwe Boll spends the first half an hour taking a dump on all of your favorite games. Then he rolls them up in to a large ball, games and all, and rolls them by every video game fan's house, laughing the entire way as producers throw money at him that also gets stuck on the big ball of ****/Video Games. Running time: 3 1/2 hours.
 

      Starring: Uwe Boll and Tom Green (As the poop ball)

      Does Uwe Boll get AIDS in it? That would make it an Oscar contender!

      No, but there's a part where he anally rapes a moviegoer who pays to see his movie. It's like a ten minute long scene.

• R. Dorothy doesn't lack emotion. She's just permanently set to "snide retorts".

• Heh. I'm sorry if I come off as narrow-minded, but I think that if they're going to incorporate homosexuality into a game, it's fine. Just as long as they don't market the game like:
  + Beautiful graphics
  + Stunning musical score
  + Deep and involving gameplay
  + A story told through the eyes of a homosexual

• There would be clerics, but much like "Christmahanakwanzika" or whatever it was, they would be amalgamations. You would, if role-playing one, be forced to invoke all Gods, Goddesses, Spirits, ancestors, Buddha’s, Saints, noble animals, And Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

• Here's how I differentiate between Chaotic Stupid and Chaotic Evil.
  
  Are you hungry?
  Chaotic Evil says: Steal the apple while the merchant isn’t looking.
  Chaotic Stupid says: Kill the merchant and 3 other people and eat their flesh.
  
  Want to see someone cry?
  Chaotic Evil says: Find a girl with a puppy and beat the puppy to death in front of her.
  Chaotic Stupid says: Defecate in the girl’s mouth.
  
  No more rooms at the inn?
  Chaotic Evil says: Beat the **** out of the guy who took the last room until he "decides" to leave early.
  Chaotic Stupid says: Kill everyone in the inn.
  
  Did a greedy merchant just tell you off?
  Chaotic Evil says: Torch his house.
  Chaotic Stupid says: Torch the town.

• At this very moment, pigs are soaring, majestic and free, over the icy reaches of Hell. ~Shale Zero

• Mr. T is awesome and Optimus Prime is Jesus in Mech form.

• "Woah! Uwe Boll has Fans!"- AnimeSky

      "I have fans too, there is one in my room right now set on low."- Clown Out

• Bane figured it out the same way, didn't he? Just pretty much went "okay, there are four billionaires in Gotham. This one's old, this one's a cripple. That leaves Bruce Wayne and old lady Mcginty. Bruce it is."

• KerntheGerm: FF8 gets the most deserved hate.
  Evil Omochao Is Back: BULLCRAP!

    KerntheGerm: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

• Remember kids: On the Internet men are men, women are men, and girls are FBI agents. Act accordingly.

• Expecting a game with large amounts of violence/nudity to be fun is like buying porn because your think it will have good writing.

• The horse may have died, but it hasn't taken a sufficient beating just yet.

• The post-victory dance. Final Fantasy games were the first place I saw this (probably existed before that), but it has spread to every conceivable genre. I can't wait until Resident Evil 37, when the gritty survivors of a zombie onslaught will perform the macarena after each kill.

• Marvel had Norse so it is normal for DC to take the Greek.
  Yeah, because it's not like Hercules was ever an Avenger or anything, or ever hit on Lois Lane.

• Actually, since Wedge Antilles > Carriers, and Carriers = Instant win, then it should be Wedge Antilles > Instant win. He's just that good XD –PsionicDude

• Because it's GT. That should be all the reason you need to smile, nod, and change the channel.

• "Hey! Wait a minute!" cry the slathering fanboys, "Rayden was too in Mortal Kombat!" No, y’all are thinking of Christopher Lambert. The guy playing Lord Rayden here is Clan of the Cave Bear and Judge Dredd veteran James Remar. You know it’s a bad movie when you’re left pining for Christopher Lambert.

• What was closed can be opened again," Rayden authoritatively intones. Oh. I guess that whole mess in the first movie was a total waste of everybody’s time.

• "What is that supposed to mean?" Liu Kang demands, expressing naïve outrage.

• Here, let me answer. With this one line, the scriptwriters have essentially torn in two the plot of the first movie, insulted the intelligence of everybody who saw it, and destroyed any vestiges of disbelief-suspension we might have had remaining. And all within two minutes of the beginning of the movie. It’s lameness incarnate. If you’re searching for appalling screenwriting, your journey ends here.

• If Slade is Batman who is Bruce Wayne?

    Roger Smith.

• "You can't control the future...Do something you can be proud of, and let the rest go."--Blade of Tyshalle

• Lust will leave you loveless. Power will leave you heartless. Drugs will leave you senseless. But God will love you, regardless.

• "Vin Diesel should be DMing. Imagine how few rules arguments there would be if someone like him was running the show." -Kane Knight

• "Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest." - Mark Twain

• As someone whose career plan involves teaching literature classes on Arthurian legend, who runs a campaign set in Camelot, and who makes a sincere effort to abide by the code of Chivalry, I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with killing the sorry bastard in his sleep.
  
  Honor is not blind and honor is not stupid. Let me repeat that: Honor is not stupid. It is not a hopelessly rigid code that would get in the way of a righteous champion mercilessly slaying an absolutely evil monster.
  
  Evil, especially absolute evil, does not deserve honor. Evil abuses honor to its own ends and thusly shall not receive honor.
  
  Just use some common sense (yes, Honor allows common sense). Who grants the Paladin his power? The cosmic powers of right and good. Obviously these powers are intelligent, just as the Paladin is, and capable of discerning that such an inhuman abomination does not deserve the privilege of honorable combat. The powers that be, if they have Wisdom scores above 6, WOULD NOT strip a Paladin of his strength because he gave a tyrant (who, besides being evil, would not show his face for open combat in the first place, instead choosing to hide in his castle) a swift death with extreme prejudice.
  
  One must step away from the grossly overly simplified notion of "a Paladin has to fight even the most demonic, overpowering overlord in fair and honorable combat or he loses all of his powers because he is not being honorable." Honor is not a form of insanity. It is a timeless concept dictating how a man is supposed to live and treat other -honorable- men.
  
  The ends do not justify the means. But the sins of the villain justify his doom. That's eye for an eye, Old Testament-hellfire-and-brimstone-divine-punishment-from-the-sky-style justice. ~ForgottenOutcast

• I don’t know...I’m no expert in anatomy, and I stopped reading wolverine in about '94, but I always assumed the adamantium held his bones together across the ligaments. I figured that’s what kept his limbs from flying off when he's blown up or knocked around. But if you say parker can rip his arms off Ill take your word for it. It doesn’t really matter, I guess, because its not like peter has the balls to do that sort of thing. I think that’s the biggest advantage wolverine has over spidey: about 10x the balls. And that’s arguably the most important thing in a fight. It’s the reason batman will always-beat superman. Now I'm not saying supes doesn’t have balls, because he does.... but not like batman. Batman goes out every night not with super powers, not with a gun, but with a ****ing tool-belt. That’s balls. Batman sees a guy with a gun, he starts throwing ****. He even has the balls to make it shaped like a bat, **** aerodynamics. That’s balls.

• But can Wolverine cut through pain? Can he cut through pleasure?
  Can he cut through sadness, joy, or hope?
  Can Wolverine cut through love?

    He has cut through love. It made God cry. It was awesome.

• He also put the Titans in Danger in Haunted where he was not only a danger to himself but all of the titans.
  That's because he'd been drugged and was insane. Captain America would make a similarly bad leader if you gave him enough LSD to choke a horse and made him believe he was surrounded by Nazis.

• NATALITE PORTMAN DIES
  SAMUEL L. JACKSON DIES
  HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN TRAGICALLY LIVES BUT IS MERCIFULLY COVERED BY A BIG BLACK HELMET BY THE END OF THE FLICK
  ALSO, THERE IS ONLY ONE SITH AND NO REVENGE WHATSOEVER, HENCE THE SUBTITLE "REVENGE OF THE SITH"

• Time is merely an illusion to the rabbit, as he perceives it. For he is beyond space, beyond time, beyond the burger king down the street. Nay, he is but something greater. Not as great as a whole tray of buffalo wings, but he's there. Somewhere...there...yeah.... I’m hungry now.

• Bugs was merely helping Michael Jordan escape the hellish sport of baseball and back into his proper position of not playing baseball. To upstage him with 500-ft jumps in slow motion dodging bullets and calculating taxes at the same time would stunt the process.

• You just used the word logic, with Looney Toons. The word isn't even compatible with the name.

• Would my body be able to physically survive the amount of dope that I would have to smoke in order to visit a shoeseum?

·         Penguins with rockets strapped to their backs > j00

·         Booster said he was at least as fast as the Flash, but there are two things that make that seem unimpressive. One, at the time, I believe the Flash was much slower than he is now. Second, Booster is an idiot.

·         Am I alone in thinking Marvel should release a line of adult books? I say they make several books with currently developed characters, like Kitty Pryde, Black Widow, Invisible Girl, Moon Dragon, and create explicit "adult" stories marked out of current continuity.

      Short answer - Yes you are alone.
      Long answer - Yes you are alone and apparently Horney.

·         Crono's Rainbow Sword vs. Cap's Shield. Which breaks first?

      Topics like this make me wish that people's own major intestine will leap straight up through their neck and throttle their brain in an attempt to preserve civilization.

·         To be honest, I prefer Mark Waid's un-noble Doom. As he says, "Doom would eat a baby in front of its mother if it somehow proved he was better than Reed Richards".

·         "DOA is the hottest paper/scissors/rock game on the market, besides that strip version of the evangelion girls. "~Troy

·         Also, to me, this game was actually fun to play, whereas Siren was like having to drive hot railroad spikes through my molars, AND then having to retry doing it 10 times per molar... "
Wow... That's the best description of playing Siren I've ever heard!

·         Walker punches angels he's the man.

      No, he punched an angel while in a moving truck. That redefines badass.

·         One should try anything he can in his career, except folkdance and incest. ~Christopher Lee

·         The original Batsignal was just a loudspeaker blasting "Cum on Feel the Noise" across Gotham.

·         Iron Man was never an alcoholic, he was just a robot fueled by booze. (ala Bender)

·         FF8 outsold FF7.

      Yeah and the return-to-store rate was the highest ever because FFVIII is a piece of crap.

·         Personally I prefer Kefka, Sephiroth is cool looking, but the best villains are the weapons man. Emerald, Ruby, Omega, and Ultima. They have no reason to destroy you but they do anyway. Now all they need to do is destroy the world then were talking. When the universe collapses there will be only three survivors. Kefka, Cockroaches, and the weapons destroying the cockroaches.

·         "Hey, Lavos. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"

*Lavos shriek*
 

      "...That’s a zero, then..."

·         ~ If a tree falls over in the woods, and no one's around, do the other trees laugh at it? ~ thepeoplesgamer

·         Not sure what else the film needed to do to get the point across, short of Alicia mentioning how much she loves ray Charles, wearing a "KISS ME! I'M BLIND" t-shirt, and having daredevil come on screen and give her a hug!

·         "Playing an RPG is like eating at a fine restaurant; you are
supposed to enjoy the experience, not see how fast you can finish."-Bpringle

·         I've got my own personal Chrono Trigger Trilogy in my head that I know will never happen. But pretending is fun.

Chrono Trigger

The events up till the battle with Magus "You fools! I didn't create him, I only summoned him!" replaces "I am you father" as coolest clencher ever.

Chrono Trigger: The Magic Kingdom.

Chronicles the events leading to Crono's death. "What the - they killed off Crono? That's like killing off Luke Skywalker or Frodo! I gotta see the last one."

Chrono Trigger: The Fated Hour

Takes us on a split quest, one lead by Marle to revive Crono with the Chrono Trigger, the other lead by Magus to kill the Queen of Zeal. Ends with badass character convergence scene and killing off interplanetary porcupine. Also ends with me winning Academy Award.

One Year later, special edition DVD with me telling my whining fans that I will never do a Chrono Cross Trilogy. Ended.

·         Infact, the Larverian Pledge of Allegiance is "CURSE REED RICHARDS"

·         So I make a Monk, third level. I give him the run feat, so when he runs, he goes 200ft in a round. Anyway I am out hunting, and the GM says I see a deer.

Me: I chase it.
GM: It gets away.
Me: Are you even going to let me try? At full run I move 200 feet a round.
GM: No, it gets away.
Me: How fast does it move? Do you even have stats for it?
GM: *Starts ignoring me and paying attention to other players. *

      My roommate makes a fair point in this case on why the DM did something wrong.
      The DM just said, "The deer gets away."
      My friend points out how that should have gone.
      Player: I chase the deer
      DM: You give chase to the deer as you slowly get left behind. The Deer gets away. Roll Survival DC 15. You rolled a 12? Ah, too bad, you're now lost in the woods from blindly chasing an animal obviously faster than you.

·         Warning: Overuse of U, Y, 2, 4, C, wut, and liek as real words is a sign of low IQ and has no cure. Please unplug your PC and refrain from breeding.

·         Like Darth Maul, the bastard child of Michael Flatley and Hellboy. -trancer1

·         Real Men of Genius...
Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Bard.
Lalalala-LALALA!
While your party keeps your sorry ass from dying, you do interpretative dance.
Like a ballerina!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Bard. It's not like you're doing anything else worthwhile.
"OUCH!" the fighter says...
At least you can then tell your buddies that you were drunk while the wizard slaughtered them.
Please don't hit me guys!
We salute you, Mr. Bard.
Mr. Mary had a little Laaaa-AAAmb..

·         Luke Cage is muscle and a bullet catcher.

      Why in God's name do the Avengers need a bullet catcher? When was the last time Ultron got pissed off and pulled a Glock on Cap?

·         Canada sucks at saying "about." Thus, America wins.

·         Neutrality is the refuge of fools - Li Suun

• "Cthulhu" is usually pronounced [k&#601;&#712;&#952;u&#720;lu&#720;]
  - Slippery BananaPeels

• Resident Evil 4 what would Uwe Boll'd do with it?

    Resident Evil 4: Alice is called in to rescue the president's daughter while Leon Kennedy marvels at her leet skills...Wesker and Leon have a touching love scene to German techno pop.

• I mean, people are all crazy about DBZ and stuff like that but there are some people out there who preach that EVA changed their lives. If ANY anime ever "changes your life"? Go the hell outside.

• Vegeta: We have to prepare for tomorrow night.
  Goku: What are we going to do tomorrow night?
  Vegeta: Try to become the most powerful Saiyan ever!
  Goku: Narf!

• "It takes more time and effort to type like an idiot than it does to just do it properly." - Neo Sigma

• The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing. -Edmund Burke

• Nobody cares about Macs enough to make a virus for them. Who wants to make a virus only to have it infect like thirteen people? - Chrono Trigger Cross

• "In brightest day, in blackest night. You better roll high, or ill chuck you into the sewer you piece of %#$@ DICE!" – drdoom2005

• The Chocobo: Mankind's feathery alternative to pedestrianism (is that a word...predestrianism? Oh well-- it is now!)

• "Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed." -- Benjamin Franklin

• “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.” – Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan

• Ewww western RPGs, I mean lame stories, boring characters, and glitchy gameplay should never be considered "the best” anything.

    
    HK-47 disapproves of this message.

• "Never date a DnD chick, she'll make you roll for initiative every time you want to sleep with her." – Nazgulnarsil

• Doom did cry in that Sept. 11th issue.
  Probably because he didn't get the idea first. Instead some rich boy religious fanatic beat him to the punch.

• For ****'s sake, people, are you really arguing about whether Doom crying in a special issue about real-world human suffering is in character? Holy ****, get real.

   Why should we "get real"? We aren't the ones who decided to add a real world tragedy into a fictional universe where by all accounts it should not have happened at all. We are all simply basing the fact that Doom shouldn't have cried based on what we've seen on him in the Marvel universe. Here's a man has not only killed, but he enjoys doing so. His greatest wish is not to kill Reed Richards, but to kill his wife, his daughter, his son, his brother in law, his best friend, AND THEN WATCH AS REED SUFFERS WITHOUT THEM, AND THEN, HE MIGHT, JUST MIGHT, KILL REED RICHARDS. Doom is a sick mother ******, I see no reason why he'd cry, if anything he'd laugh his armored ass off and write a letter to the Avengers saying: Earth's mightiest heroes my ass

• So, in conclusion, speed force. Also, Hypertime. If those two things can't solve a problem, look for a wizard. – HouseT

• Greek and Norse mythology weren't like comic companies, throwing their characters into pointless crossovers in order to make money- Stardrifter

• I think the reason people consider German such a sexy language is that half the words sound like 'schlong' ~ SlyJoker

• Bison's Psycho Powers

      Teleportation
      flight/hovering
      energy-based projectiles
      energy-enhanced melee attacks
      super strength
      invulnerability
      ...and the perfect smile!!!!

      Don't forget the laugh. Damn, Street Fighter II V Bison's laugh puts Joker to shame.

      Plus he handed ryu and ken's Asses to them in the movie. They had to tag team him and that just slowed him down a bit. And then Bison still had to hold back and fight them on their own level... and still came back with an eighteen-wheeler of mass destruction in his bid to kill Ryu!

• "You see Ninjas work in ways that are mysterious. 1 ninja is an unstoppable killing machine, while 200 ninjas are simply cannon fodder."

• What always bothered me about Wolverine is that despite his now monstrous healing factor he tends to ignore pain a good deal of the time. Sure, he's probably got a high threshold for it at his point, but you'd think that being set on fire would at the very least stun him enough to put him down for a few minutes. Instead he's walking around on fire and prepared to go teach whoever set him on fire a harsh lesson. That's the Canadian bacon for ya.

• "Me and pain are old friends." - Wolverine

• 
  No sir, Gambit doesn't like it.

• He swoops into battle with an earth shaking boom, a yellow cape on his back, he runs forward and spiral jumps all over the Spectre, Darkseid, Odin Thor, Pre-crisis Superman, Adam West Batman, Mr. T, the living Tribunal, and the source itself, flattening them all, and getting a 1up!

• Could a Hulk-ed Up Hulk Hogan beat The Grimace?

    Forget it, if these two titans fought, the very cosmos would be torn asunder and God would have to ask Vin Diesel to sew it back together.

• I only dislike Havok because of all the characters in Adjectiveless X-Men are so ****ing static.
  Alex: I'm jealous of Iceman.
  Emma: Alex, you're not Scott, and you like Polaris.
  Iceman: I like Polaris and I'm jealous of Havok.
  Polaris: Heeheehee, monkey banana salad fruit smoothie mixer! Hehehehe! Damn now I'm depressed, a sad girl, SAD I tell you! Hold me Bobby! Your icy touch fills me with warmth and stuff! Now I want a chimpanzee buzz saw kiss! Hohoohoho!
  Gambit: I can't touch my girlfriend. That sucks.
  Rogue: I can't touch my boyfriend. That sucks.

• "Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job." Sorcery, Terry Pratchett

• What more can he do, really? He killed Jason, paralyzed Barbara, and killed Jim Gordon's wife. The only way he can really get Batman to kill him at this point is for him to dig up Spoiler’s corpse and have sex with it.

• Give DC time and that'll happen.
  
  "Who made love to Spoiler's corpse? Find out when Bill Willingham and Rob Liefield bring you four issues of... War Sex!
  
  Batman hunts down whomever did the nasty with the corpse, finds out its Joker. Bats goes ballistic, nearly kills the Joker until Jim Gordon shows up, threatening to kill Batman so he can stop him from killing Joker because killing is always wrong. Batman gets his head back on straight and sends Joker back to the revolving door of Arkham because DC can't let their crappiest villain die.
  
  Then Batman finds out Alfred filmed Joker's sexcapade and is selling copies on eBay. Batman doesn't do anything but kick Alfred out of "his" country and makes random references about Superman not being allowed to fly over his city or he'll shoot missiles at him because he's a paranoid ass.
  
  Sadly, DC would probably publish that crap.

• "A Ferrari is a scaled down version of god while a Porsche is a hopped up VW beetle" ~ Jeremy Clarkson

• Person 1: Why didn't Superman use his super speed, heat vision, or all of his strength against this enemy?
  
  Comic Fan: Because he wanted to test his opponent's strength level.
  
  Person 1: But if the fight had gotten out of hand unexpectedly, he could've killed dozens of innocent people!
  
  Comic Fan: Well the writers can't have him use all those powers like that or it won't be exciting to watch.
  
  Person 1: Ok, well how come Superman can speak half a dozen sentences in one panel while he's moving at light speed?
  
  Comic Fan: Because it has to be subjectively slowed down so the audience can get the story.
  
  Person 1: So then does Goku like to avoid going all out so that he can test his opponents and make the fight interesting for the audience?
  
  Comic Fan: No, he does it because he's really not that powerful, and his other feats are just embellishment for the awe factor.
  
  Person 1: O...k... so when the DBZ characters can say several things in a really short period of time, it's because they have to stretch the moment for the audience's benefit, right?
  
  Comic Fan: Naw, those folks are just slower.
  
  Person 1: -_-;

• Through some uber magic ritual, the rest of the PCs gain the ability to see the Pantherghast, although they still can't hurt it unless they're elves. The PCs have a predicament. How will they defeat this creature?
  
  Young elf girl: I don't see a way outta this one...
  Huge, ogre barbarian: Hey...can I wield her?
  
  AND SO THE DAY WAS SAVED!

• Hey, if Power Girl's allowed to have huge tracts of land to distract evil, Superman deserves the wang of tomorrow.

• Mayor had just muscled us out of money (protection racket).
  Mind you, we were low level, not a single coin to our name, and I was mad. We were in the town square, with the town's only well.
  
  DM: "The mayor turns and begins walking away."
  
  ME: "I cast create water."
  
  DM: "Urrr...ok. Where?"
  
  ME: "IN HIS LUNGS!"
  
  DM: "You can't do that with create water."
  
  ME: "Oh, then what's the skill check for defecating in the town well?"
  
  Got some funny looks from that. :P

• I'm pretty certain that once this New Avengers story arc is over the Sentry is going to be severely de-powered. Probably something to do with having to shut down portions of his mind. I mean, otherwise, why even have the rest of the New Avengers around? Just send the Sentry everywhere there's trouble and the rest of them can stay back at the tower and play Scrabble.

• SPIDEY: Is that even a word?
  WOLVERINE: Bub, I'm the best there is at what I do--
  SPIDEY: And spelling ain't it.
  WOLVERINE: True... but nailing married red heads...
  *Spidey proceeds to make the beatings Al Bundy gave to Kelly's boyfriends look like child's play. *

• "Sub-Mariner has been randomly fighting other heroes for sheer bad-ass quotient while simultaneously hitting on their women since the 40s" - Havoc3595

• What do you expect? We classified obesity as a friggin disease. HOW THE HELL DO YOU CATCH OBESITY?
  Boss: hello?
  Fat guy: hey boss...I wont be able to make it in today *burps*
  boss: why not?
  Fat guy: I got infected with a double quarter pounder with cheese, large fries, apple pie, and a medium diet Pepsi. And now i'm 270 pounds and I can't see my feet!
  Boss: o.k. No problem. I’ll have the slim guy cover your post.

• How would you rank Cap, Iron Fist, Shang-Chi, Wolverine, Silver Samurai, and Elektra in a context of pure skill? -  dmj2323

      Above me...below Marlon Brando... - Blackmore

• It's 2005. Can't we just be honest and say, "I have a biological urge that makes me want to look at exposed boobies"?

• "I will proceed accordingly, dude. 'Mum' is the word. Actually, 'bird' is the word. But the bird says 'mum'." – Vic

• The bio of Wolvie that was on those old juice boxes promoting the 90s X-Men said that he was 195 lbs and 5'3".
  Juicy Juice never lies!

• I bring a squirt bottle. Whenever a PC does something stupid I squirt them in the face and say "Bad PC! No Treat!" It's so funny to actually see that people don't mind...

• Mark 2:23 - And Jesus playeth Starcraft with great fury. He summoned forth the Carrier and won instantly. – Jarek

• A bunch of dudes who wear pointy white hats led by a dude with a pointy red hat.

      Smurfs = Ku Klux Klan.

• Disappointing final bosses.

      Final Fantasy IX: It was like being hit in the forehead by a brick and wonder where the hell it came from even if you're the only person in the room.

• Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it, as it is required for graduation

• You're only dead if you're name is "Gwen Stacy" or "Psylocke".

• Nature is nature; it'd be pretty freaking weird if a wall of kittens blocked hurricanes from reaching land, now wouldn't it?

• Pally didn't break his code, he is just also following the Viking law of combat, if it moves, and shouldn't, kill it.

• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

• The ability to eat anything is not enough to be a superhero. It can, however, be used to win bar bets.

• In real life, women will not find black eyes with red pupils sexy, no matter how suave your Cajun accent.

• Joker: "Will Green Lantern ever admit his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that BIG HONKIN' MACE? Will true love conquer all? Not on my show!"

• You simply aren't living if you don't have a tight clique to enjoy group hugs with.

• Bushido = slicing peasants in half just to test out your new sword. Believe It.

• If 4Kids dubbed Evangelion...

      Yo! Yah-Yo Yah-YO!
      DREAMING! Don't give it up Shinji!
      DREAMING! Don't give it up Asuka!
      DREAMING! Don't give it up Rei!
      Dreaming!
      (Don't give it, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it up, give it- YO!)
      Here's how the story goes, we find out
      ‘Bout a city plagued by Angels, no doubt!
      The pilots of the giant robots, they'll say,
      "We're gonna beat them all some day!"
      Yah-yo, yah-yo, yah-yo, oh-oh!
      His name is Shinji
      (That's Shinji Ikari)
      (Gonna run away from here!)
      His psyche is ****ed up!
      (How did that happen?)
      (Yo-ho-ho, he has a giant robot!)
      Yah-yo, yah-yo!
      Her name's Asuka, she's just like a pilot
      And a L-A-D-Y Rei didn't dye it!
      Misato's doing her tactical thing,
      And Gendo's prepping to be the Bastard King!
      Yah-yo, yah-yo, yah-yo, oh-oh!
      Set sail for Tokyo 3, it's the name of the city
      Attacked by Angels!
      Yah-yo, yah-yo
      Set sail for Tokyo 3!

• And how come everybody abbreviates Apocalypse's name 'Pooky?' Pooky is Garfield's teddy bear, start giving old Blue Lips some respect and at least call him 'Poccy.'

    But under all his blue skin and survival of the fittest tough guy talk, is cute sweet innocent mutant with a heart of gold. Hence the name "Pooky"

• The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck is the day they make a vacuum.

• Need to acquire every last magical device in the entire universe for some likely insane and half-assed attempt at world domination utilizing nothing more than gerbils with rocket packs strapped to their backs.

• Why do people attempt double axe handles on guys lying down? - BillyKidd
  Cause heels know that if they hit it the space-time continuum will erupt - Newmoon

• What’s the most powerful weapon that could be made with anything from any anime

      I'd say it would be Big Venus, piloted by Spike, with Vash hooked into the core   memory, launching fin funnels while transmuting demon swords into guitars. With it’s left foot leading.

• What is planet Hulk? -mrvl

      Use your imagination. What do you think something called "Planet Hulk" could be about? - The Lord of the Dark

      Hulk goes into partnership with John McClane and the Terminator to open a chain of restaurants with crappy, overpriced food. – Blackmore

• I bet if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. - Mitch Hedberg

• Pay honor to the pure, innocent, righteous, and to the learned, to whatsoever people they may belong; and condemn the wicked and the men of iniquity. - Chagan

• One decent volcanic eruption releases more greenhouse gases than humans ever have since the industrial revolution.

·    "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done."  ~ Leonardo da Vinci

• "Animated series" is to cartoons what "graphic novel" is to comic books. A term used by pathetic ****s that are ashamed of their interests in entertainment and try to hide it with a more "mature" name. W.I.T.C.H. is a cartoon, Tom & Jerry is a cartoon, Cowboy Bebop is a cartoon, Super Milk Chan is a cartoon, "anime" only denotes that a work is Japanese in origin.

• If science can't give you an erection, then what good is it?

• "I like obsessive people. They get things done"

• Oh for the love of.... I’m actually ok with The Rock starring in movies because he has a real personality, but John Cena just raps about tape measurers and wangs and waves his giant monkey arms in front of his face. Watching him fight a Predator will be like pissing out a live kitten; painful, strange and not at all beneficial to anyone.

• Bruce Wayne: You see, because I'm Frank Miller, yes, that Frank Miller, I can pretty much have them say anything I want, no matter how out of character. The readers keep buying and the publishers keep letting me get away with it.
  
  Alfred: I say, Master Bruce, whatever are you going on about?
  
  Bruce Wayne: I'm not sure... I don't know where that came from. What I meant to say was, "It looks like the Joker is up to something, Alfred!"

• "It's Mysterio, the cliché that walks like a man!" ~ Spider-Man

• MJ: Yah, and what if you die. What are your chances of getting better then?
  Pete: Honestly? Surprisingly good.

• Captain America: Peter, do you know what you need to do to live to a ripe old age?
  Peter: Get stuck in an ice floe?

• Another where he is sitting down and speaking to the Kingpin who is eating dinner in a rich restaurant.
  
  The Kingpin says, "Young man, did you web my feet to the floor?"
  
  "Maybe" says Spiderman.
  
  "What possible satisfaction could you get from that?" The Kingpin asks, menacingly.
  
  Spiderman looks back and responds, "See you don't understand me, and I don't understand you."

• Freakazoid vs. The Tick = Universe Explodes.

• Final Fantasy 8 gets NO love whatsoever.

    That's because FF8 was NO good whatsoever. All FF8 has is purty graphics and purty sound. It's a pretty shell with a dark, hollow void where its soul should be.

• With the exception of performing the task of going to an options screen and changing the difficulty setting, it should never, ever be the gamer’s burden to address the issue of challenge in games.

• It's D&D. The first response to any threat is instant and vicious force, followed by looting the corpses.

• "Another example: skills. Why must ALL fighters have the same list of class skills? Is it truly THAT incomprehensible to have a fighter that is just as much a glib liar as a rogue, without forcing a rogue or bard level on a fighter with all that entails (lost BAB, lost hp, perhaps multiclassing penalties)?"
  
  Yes, it is that incomprehensible. A fighter trains all the time to fight. Not to lie. Not to be a social dilettante. To fight, to kill, and to do things that aid in him putting the pointy end of his sharp stabbity device in the soft flesh of the screaming beast trying to rip his face off.

• Not showing a lot of detective skills is not the same as turning him into a killer
  they didn’t show the detective skills for the same reason they didn’t show break dancing skills, or his laser vision skills: they didn’t exist.

• Suikoden III

      Everything else that makes suikoden suikoden is terrible in it, though. Worst battle system in the series and the strategy battles are about as strategic as setting yourself on fire.

• Every time Vin Diesel got mad during Chronicles of Narnia, he punches a talking animal. This is why animals today don't talk anymore.

• 'In a 1993 interview with Wild Cartoon Kingdom magazine, series creator Peter Chung revealed that the idea for Aeon Flux started out as a parody of action/adventure films. Poking fun of their violence, their casual bloodshed, and their black-and-white morality. It makes me sad to see that this franchise has come full-circle—becoming the type of film that the original series was meant to mock—and it’s even more depressing to realize that this is what the majority of people are going to associate when they hear the name Aeon Flux.'

• I thought Deadpool said it best: "Nothing? Plenty stops the Juggernaut. The X-men...the Incredible Hulk...Spiderman...twice."

• "Your entitled to your opinion, but don't forget that I am also entitled to my opinion, that your opinion is stupid."

• Why is it that people can so easily accept magic using space samurai wielding scientifically infeasible light based weaponry, but putting a monkey on a boat just too absurd of a notion to even consider?

• If the bloodrayne movie is good, then it proves that matrix is real and somebody HAX'D it.

• Cthulu would destroy the EVAs, drive Shinji mad (der), make sickly-sweet love to Asuka & Rei, then post about it on /b/. -Bluedevil_09

• Marvel has a series about Jesus being a mutant. It's called Wolverine.

• Freddy sort of won. Remember him winking at the end?

      I wasn't aware that having your head carried to shore by the guy who killed you (sorta) counted as a victory

• Wolverine Vs. Freddy Kruger.

      Long answer:

      Freddy would kill Wolverine because Wolverine smokes which, being a drug, means, by slasher-film logic, Wolverine would be powerless against Freddy. Then Wolverine would be resurrected by Roma, mumble, "I was dead but then I got better", and then he would kill Freddy. Then a dog would pee on Freddy's grave and he would kill Wolverine in a very MTV-esque way by sucking out all his adamantium. Then Apocalypse would resurrect Wolverine and give him back his   adamantium. Wolverine would mumble "I'm the best there is at what I do and     what I do isn't very nice so I'm the best there is at not being nice. While Freddy tried to work out what the &*%# he just said, Wolverine would kill him. Then, through the power of 3D glasses, Freddy would be resurrected and kill Wolverine with a Nintendo power glove. Then Jubilee would turn legal and Wolverine would be resurrected through a combination of his healing factor, the Power Cosmic, and the fact that his relationship with Jubilee would now be able to pass the Comics Code. Then the whole thing would be abruptly cancelled.

      Short answer:

      We all lose.

• The only people who want to be evil are the ones who use it as an excuse to act like the bad guy in a slasher flick

• "Why is there so much hatred and bigotry? Why do we hate people who seem to be different than we are instead of enjoying the variety?" - Stan Lee

• The throat slitting was a horrible, HORRIBLE retcon. Read the old Cap stories from Tales of Suspense; Bucky throws grenades at Nazis with the pin unpulled. I think if Ed Brubaker wrote Spider-Man, Uncle Ben would come back and be revealed to run a brothel.

• You might also want to realize the Tarrasque IS a reptile, so of course he resembles one.

      Weather or not it has the resemblances to an Animal, for all intents and purposes, it's a Magical Beast, not a reptile, or with the Reptilian subtype.

      Crocodiles don't have the reptilian subtype, either, it seems, so I'm guessing I'm right. That, or they aren't reptiles, either.

      ...Yeah, right.

• That would be the Martian Manhunters most awesome attack ever.
  Hard to take over the world with your death ray when your minds full of naked ladies.

• Batman has perfected a style of meditation that literally scares the dirt, sweat, and smell off of his skin.

• There's no rating Bruce Campbell. Bruce Campbell is a rating unto himself.

• The Internet is nothing but opinion and porno with some fact thrown in every 100,000 websites

• This game's inaccurate....
  
  This is what really happened:
  
  *James walks in on Pyramid Head On the couch*
  
  James: So, I hear you got yourself a sandwich maker.
  
  PH: Sandwich maker?
  
  James: Yeah, a girlfriend.
  
  PH: Oh, yeah. She does good.
  
  James: Cool.
  
  PH: HEY, *****! MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!
  
  Mannequin: You want PB&J?
  
  James: DAMN RIGHT HE WANTS PB&J... *****.
  
  PH: Did you just call my ***** a *****?!
  
  James: Uhhh.... ya...
  
  PH: Oh, it's on now!!!
  
  ...And that, my children, is why Triangle Man hates Person Man.

• If I want to walk around a huge world with nothing to do, I'll go outside.

• You know it's only a matter of time before they retcon it so Wolverine catches the guy who killed Uncle Ben and Spider-man ceases to exist.

• No, he's right. The only way to save D&D is if we all join hands and LARP as vampire paladins dependent on the blood of innocent babies to power our holy powers.
  It's the only way.

• Fact: Anyone who hates RE couldn't get passed the first zombie in RE1.

      ^It's because they chose Chris and tried to noob knife it :(

      I swear to god this is the truth of life.

• Roses are red, violets are blue
  All of my base, are belong to you

• <Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
  <Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
  <Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
  <Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
  <Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

·         Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders

·         I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

·         Here is the history of our medicine.

      "I have a sore throat."

      2000 BC: "eat this root"

      1200 AD: "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
      1500 AD: "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
      1800 AD: "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
      1900 AD: "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
      2000 AD: "That antibiotic is artificial, here why don’t you eat this root."

·         <green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants

·         <O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practice exercises. As follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

·         If my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

• I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee. And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing. I've never felt more manly than in that moment.

• Didn't you know? Marvel's Hell is really DC Comics. - Entertainer13

• We all know that Silent Hill 5 will be: Silent Hill 5: Online
  Play, Kill, Survive. Welcome to the town of Silent Hill.
  Coming to XBox360, PS3, and PC.

• You know what was my ultimate Holy Symbol? The Sun Disk of Pelor. But with the face of Alfred Newmann, from MAD magazine.

• So please... help the unenlightened. Slap that copy of Mark Ecko's Getting Up out of their hands and give them a copy of Katamari Damacy.

• Does anyone else find the image of a big, vicious eye-tyrant floating over a bed of flowers gently licking and nibbling the petals somewhat strange and funny?

• "You know who was like Hitler? HITLER! And that guy didn’t act that evil, and kill that many people, just so any Tom, Dick, and Harry could be called a Hitler." ~ Jon Stewart

• The default values listed in the PHB just happened to be stock fantasy values (i.e. helping others = good, raping and child molestation = evil). There was literally nothing stopping you from having a Lawful Good serial mass pedophile rapist who was also a serial mass murderer. Except, well, common sense and a DM.

• When I think of Wonder Woman the very first thing I think of is black hair, blue eyes, and muscle. Any time I see a picture of wonder woman that's just pure curve all I can think is "Not enough muscle" and every time I see some fanboy rendition of her as a blonde I find myself dreaming about the day a device is made to choke people over the internet.

• "Let’s face it, “Superman” … the last time you inspired anyone—was when you were dead." ~Batman

• You need to return to whatever school taught you about the government, and set fire to it. – Coolhand

• The only difference between a good fan fiction and a published story is that one is canon and the writer of said canon was paid.

• Ravenloft is, and always was, a morality play. It's about doing the right thing even when the right thing is hard. It's about faith in humanity when there is no more tangible evidence of divinity than in the real world and when the just don't get their just deserts. It's about staring into the abyss and having the abyss stare back. It's about standing on the brink and pulling back when it would be so easy to go over.

• Az: How can Hulk be fighting 2 versions of himself in the same time and place??? Smells like a dream sequence or "mental fray"
  
  Me: I don't entirely recall. They may have been Robots.
  
  Az: Ah, that makes sense then.
  ---------------
  This is why I love comics. Only in comics can you say, "They may have been Robots." and have someone respond with "Ah, that makes sense then."

• Optimus Prime is without a doubt the most inspirational fictional character a young boy can have. Even with cheesy 80's writing. – Kaitouace

• GT to me just seemed like an excuse to beat a dead horse for an extra couple of seasons by making the main character into a kid that was 100x more powerful then his adult counterpart.
  To me it's the canon equivalent of Chuck Austen's X-Men

• Hunting with guns is for pussies. Anybody can shoot a gun; there is really no fucking point to it. Well, if all you want it for is food, I guess using a gun is okay. But what pisses me off royally is these redneck fuckers puffing out their chests, getting drunk, then going out and shooting something to feel 'manly', or these city folk (rednecks too) claim it is for sport. It makes no goddamn sense; a 4 year old little girl can shoot an animal with a gun.

      ---------------

      What recoil-free universe do you live in? I really want to know; I've got a   .500S&W revolver I'd like to try one handing.

• Yarva Demonicus Etrigan. Change, change the form of Man, Free the Prince, forever damned, Free the Might from fleshy mire, Boil the Blood in Heart of Fire, Gone, Begone this form of Man, arise The Demon, Etrigan!"

• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

• How do you pronounce "Darkseid"?

      Much like Silver Surfer, Thanos and all of Galactus' Heralds, it’s pronounced:
      JOB-ER

• Why are you hyped for Silent Hill?

      Because I'm sick of all those other hills being so loud. This one should be   rewarded for being the only one that knows how to shut the hell up.

• Sex on TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.

• Everyone talks about Batman being plan man, but Fury is the guy who'd walk up to Bruce at a party going "We need the help of your pointy-eared little friend"...

• Pug: Why, in your opinion, does Jameson have it out for you?
  Spider-Man: At first I didn't know. But over the years, and after some very serious thought and soul searching, I think I've figured it out. The real reason Jonah hates me... is because I'm black.

• We make war so that we may live in peace. - Batman: Hush
   
• Without friends no one would choose to live. Though he had all other goods. - Batman: Hush

• Italy is not that bad, I'll give you that as long as you're willing to sacrifice your low carb diet.

• "On topic: Eminem is the greatest rapper alive." - tarheelborn15
  "Holy ****.... How many rappers have died today????" - Luda848

• The Silent Hills are alive with the Sound of Music.
  Starring Julie Andrews as Pyramid Head

• Green Lantern's are like ninja's when there's one of them they’ll be invincible, when they have large numbers they're cannon fodder.

• Saying Bloodrayne is the best Uwe Boll movie is like saying Herpes is the best STD.

• If the 3 consoles were hot girls what type of hot girls would they be?

      Nintendo- Career woman
      MS - Nightclub hoe
      Sony - Gold Digger

• I can't quite think of a proper definition for cosmic, but lets just say that people who are cosmic are usually in a different class of strength altogether, can usually travel through space under their own power and have at one point or another slapped Silver Surfer around. And yes, I realize that means Wolverine is cosmic, but I think we all knew that by  now.

• I have a strange fetish. I fantasize about wearing cat ears and a tail, and having fake paws. I'll go "Meow", and then some guy will fuck the shit out of me. It's arousing. Do I need help?

    You don't need help; you need cat ears, a tail, and fake paws

• Samus did nothing to help the female cause because you wouldn't even know that Samus was female until after she takes off her armor - Link316

      Or unless you read the instruction booklet... – TheDarkGamer

      Isn't that the point? For female characters to seamlessly blend into the world of male characters thus creating...equality? - Divine Tonberry

• Any movie with only gore and violence labeled as horror is in fact not horror. Horror is defined as intense and profound fear. Gore is simply mass blood. So if a gory movie is horror, then so is a doctor closing a wound with a severed artery. Blood is not scary. The unknown is what is scary. Hence some children being afraid of the dark.

• Learning from your mistakes is good. Learning from someone else's mistakes is better.

• I'm guessing the big twist for Civil War will be that Tony was drunk the whole time. Really drunk.

• Nick Fury...SEEEECRETS!
  
  Fury - "Sometimes, when no one else is looking, I prank call the president as a pirate. If you look behind my hover chair over here, you'll see I got the fake parrot and everything."

• "Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." ~C.S Lewis

• Guy Gardner talking about Superboy prime: Code fifty-four lanterns! Excessive force has been approved! And encouraged for this crybaby

• "My wife has grown accustomed to a lifestyle that only a misleading cover appearance by Wolverine can afford." - Brian Bendis

• 5 things will happen that will be significant to the Civil War

      1. All the heroes will realize that the Registration Act is stupid and resolve to stop fighting each other.
      2. Tony Starks will still support it and reveal that in his spare time he has built Iron Man robots that are specialized for each hero, even the ones that were on his team.
      3. After the fight, Wolverine will erase the minds of everyone on the whole planet so that identities will remain hidden.
      4. Wanda did it.
      5. Galactus comes to Earth with his new herald Hulk but is stopped by Cosmic Wolverine, simply because the writers just don’t care.

• Jeremy Goodwin: I'm a racist. I am, I'm a terrible racist. I think all those people with the funny accents and weird skin color should go back to wherever they came from and leave this country to the people who rightfully stole it from the Indians... which they deserved.
  Isaac: Jeremy...
  Jeremy Goodwin: I'm serious; this country is being ruined by the blacks and the Jews.
  Isaac: You're Jewish.
  Jeremy Goodwin: And I have to be stopped.

• You lie! Sorcerers cast on good looks alone! It says so in the DMG!

• Batman vs. Lex Luthor in a game of chess

      Lex will make up a move and Batman will say that's illegal. Lex will continue to make this move and keep insisting that it’s accordance to a specialized form of chess. Lex will keep at it until he forms a fault in Bat's perpetually calculating mind.

      He keeps this up until Bats suddenly has a nervous breakdown screaming, "Rook   not horsie! King can't ride rook in stables!" And then Lex steals his wallet.

• Why would anyone want drugs when Darth Vader scares the living crap out of kids with his "Do drugs and I'll pop out of your closet and choke you from across the room." public service announcements?

• "Life is a struggle; technology creates more idiot proof things, and the universe creates better idiots; so far the universe is winning"

• Power comes in response to a need not a desire – Goku

      Desire equals power – Lucifer

• I would just have Kitty phase into his body and pull out his skeleton. Not only is Logan dead, but you've got a badass looking adamantium skeleton. - Oroboros358

• A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. --Bob Hope

• The more intelligent a man is, the more originality he discovers in men. Ordinary people see no difference between men -- Pascal

• Money is not the root of all evil, no money is.

• Coming together is the beginning.
  Keeping together is progress.
  Working together is success.

n      Henry Ford

• Zang! Who is that, prowling across the freeway! It is Eddie G, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a low howl, his voice cometh:

      "For the love of beatings, I lay waste to all I see like a mad dog who can only get madder!!!"

• Cthulhu for President. Why vote for the lesser of two evils?

• Page one of the "Galactus Contingency Plan" has the phone number and e-mail address of Reed Richards. The rest of the pages are filled with doodles of Storm and Photon.

• We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our god to a stick! Don't **** with the human race!

• Ultimecia wanted to compress time so that she could bring the world closer to the time of FFVI...to be closer to Edgar.

• Carmen Sandiego, she's probably having her way with Waldo in Nowhere, Silent Hill right now.

• Sentry's glow or power does calm Hulk. In fact they're friends, Hulk calls him "Golden Man" and sleeps in Sentry's kitchen.

·      One does not require an excuse to prance around in a cloak, wearing a monocle, top hat and brandishing a cane.

• "DM fiat is when a dungeon master, irritated by his player's attempts to break his games, runs over all of them in an Italian automobile." – Edible

• *Music starts playing*
  Bud Light is proud to present...Real Men of Genius
  Real Men of Genius!!!
  Today, we salute you, Mr. Unaware of Hentai Guy
  Mr. Unaware of Hentai Guy!
  You bring over a lady friend to prove a glorious point about anime, that it isn't all about cute loli's
  Oh that cute Sakura-Chan~
  In attempting to prove your point you open up Bible Black, completely unaware of its erotic nature.
  Hot sex and chicks with wangs, yeah!
  Your plan backfires, your friend calls you a pervert and storms out. You're left with a bruised pride and an erect wang.
  What kind of man are you?
  So crack open an ice cold Bud Light you blissfully unaware anime fan, because even if you've lost all chances of scoring with that one girl, you're still a legend in our books.
  Mr. Unaware of Hentai Guy!
  Bud Light Beer, Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri

• The Rock can also play one of the Stone heads on Easter Island so a Gradius movie should also be considered.

• Yes, anime is obviously the basis for all legend and folklore throughout the known universe.

• Not to mention, he's just Clint for the second. Unless he wants to compete with Kate for the title of Hawkeye

      That is a fight she would not win...

      Sure, she could. If the fight happens in New Avengers, we've already seen how Bendis thinks of Hawkeye. She hits him with an arrow, Hawkeye screams not like this and throws himself in front of a tractor.

• Politically correctness has finally come full circle when people want to argue that the Nazis "got a bad rap."

• What was James guilty of anyways?
  He stole some guy's wallet out of a toilet.

• Pyramid Head: Ah ha, I have you now James.
  
  James (hanging upside town with Maria above a pit of acid): You bastard! Why are you doing this to Maria and I?
  
  Pyramid Head: Very well, I shall tell you. Before I kill you. You see, when you murdered your wife, you felt such guilt for the act that you suppressed the memory. But that hidden thought has been crying out, reflected by the spiritual forces of this town. They gave shape to your hidden memories, in order to weaken your denial and lead you towards accepting the truth and its consequences. My task was to test your resolve and slowly push you towards realization by reenacting your crime. Maria was merely a diversion created by your delusional mind in order to make you stray from your path to find Mary. But we were able to use Maria for our own purposes, to remind you of Mary's death and to bring out your animalistic desire for lust. Now if you'll excuse me I will now leave the room as this contraption slowly lowers you into that pit of boiling acid.

• Pyramid Head symbolizes James' secret desire to have sex while wearing a traffic cone on his head.

• The only way anyone could have liked X3 was if they are a big fan of the X-men or has the mental capacity of a 5 year old. That movie was awful from beginning to end. The action sucked. I laughed every time Beast jumped on screen.

      The only way anyone could have liked SR was if they are a big fan of previous Superman films or has the mental capacity of a 5 year old. That movie was awful from beginning to end. The action was nonexistent. I laughed every time superman lifted a massive island of kryptonite.

• RE5 will feature zombies that wear top hats, tights, and codpieces, and sing songs from 50's musicals as they beat you, then violate you, then rip you apart and devour your innards. Also, Boris Karloff will make a cameo appearance as Frankenstein's monster, and he will yell at Tyrant and call him a ripoff. And then he will toss Ada Wong into a lake. Only the lake is filled with G-Virus and she will emerge from it as a super-deformed "chibi" Tyrant and the three of them will be the game's final boss. This, my friend, will be the greatest game ever.

• That made me picture Superhuman Wesker taking Leon by the wrist and punching him in his face with his own hand, all the while saying, "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"

• Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition. - Isaac Asimov

• Why, how dare he dislike the way all anime art looks exactly the same and support silly things like creativity?
  
  *Looks at artwork from Lupin III*
  *Looks at artwork from Perfect Blue*
  *Looks at artwork from Super Milk Chan*
  *Looks at artwork from DBZ*
  
  Your statement is crap.

• They would never call a girl Double D on a children's show. I guarantee it.

• Let's not compare apples to oranges ... let's just eat them.

• Your PC is WAY too powerful if…

n      The wizard attempts to disbelieve something that's not an illusion, and it disappears anyway.

2) Your attack is listed as dealing 9d10 + YES!!!! Damage.

n      When the Tarrasque responds to "Here, Spot!"

n      Your ranger makes a spot check and sees the person playing him.

n      Your ability scores look like they've been rolled on percentile dice

n      You are faced with an Iaijutsu Master, and when the sword swings to hit you, it shatters on your skin. The resulting shards spontaneously generate sentience and chase the Iai off into the mountains.

n      Every once in a while you make a new plane so you can have a fresh vacation spot.

n      You spent an entire session rolling damage dice

n      Cthulhu spends his time playing Call of [your pc's name].

n      Strahd is begging you for the way out of ravenloft.

n      Your soldier smacks Vader in the face and Vader apologizes

n      Your hit dice are listed in powers of 10.

n      Your weapon of choice: Great Wyrm Red Dragon.

No, this does not mean that you call the Red Dragon to fight for you. This means that you actually pick up the Great Wyrm Red Dragon and use it like a club

n      You control more NPCs than the DM

n      You are so powerful that you refuse to attack anything--reason being that if you do, there is an impossibly slim chance that you'll critically fail and stab yourself, which has a better chance of killing you than anything else

n      You can run Doom3

n      You throw a fireball and it burns up the DMs Monster Manual.

n      He caught a magic missile and threw it back for double damage.

n      He makes a successful reflex save to prevent his character sheet from being deleted off the hard drive.

n      You destroy the Prime material plane, and you still don't get enough experience to reach next level.

n      You can use your Bluff skill to convince Baalzebul, Prince of Lies, that he is indeed a jelly donut destined to be eaten by the masses.

n      Your character can hide in his own shadow.

n      You walked down the corridors of the black spiral to find a post-it note saying “Heard you were coming, got the hell out. Evil cookies in fridge if you're hungry.” Signed The Wyrm

n      If your AC is "No"

n      you roll a 1 and do a critical

n      when your wizard casts Fireball and the entire Elemental Plane of Fire ceases to exist as a result of having been drawn on to cast the fireball.

n      When the gods pray to YOU for spells.

n      Even if you somehow get killed, you just smack the grim reaper in the face and get on with your life.

n      When an evil god is causing trouble, you put him into time-out.

n      You’re considered more dangerous than a bored Kender.

• Why not just agree that a hot chick in any form (photo, real life, a video game) is a hot chick, and thus attractive. – Freelance

• If you see one me as horrible for defending Lois as a parent, then ask why Vader is so popular and why we shouldn’t be ashamed at a man who would cut off his own son’s hand?
  
  Vader is popular AS A VILLAIN!!!! I can't fathom how your feeble mind can't grasp that Lois Lane and Darth Vader are on completely different ends of the spectrum when it comes to fictional parents. Do you need a break-down?
  
  Lois: protagonist
  Vader: antagonist
  
  Lois: actively raising her son, Jason
  Vader: actively tries to kill his children numerous times, and goes to the grave not knowing his daughter's name
  
  See a difference yet?

• Somehow I just can't imagine Superman saying "I'm gonna kick your ass!"

      I can see Supes saying that, but only right before kicking someone's donkey into    orbit.

• 2006 welcomes you visitor from 1976.Updates include the knowledge that only Superfriends had an inept Aquaman and he was never "Talk to fish guy" in the actual comics. We believe this has something to do with the writers for comics not having access to the massive amount of drugs that caused the SF staff to put every episode together after a cocaine bender.

·         To say that FFVIII is a just a "love story" it's an unbearable understatement. In all his extents, FFVIII manages to be one of the worst love stories ever conceived by man-which is maybe the greatest result achieved by the game.

·         "Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie," until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers

·         I'm so Goth, I sacked Rome.

·         *Orion walks up to a version of Hiro that has mastered his abilities*
Orion: and you little man of earth what can yo- why am I wearing a pink frock?!

·         Sending someone a poisonous reptile is a lot less romantic than you would think.

·         You know, I never thought I'd see the day where I'd debate with myself whether to listen to the President from 24, a gecko, oppressed cavemen, or a hot secret agent in order to get the right car insurance. What a world.

·         "Real Daleks don't climb stairs; they level the building."

·         Oh come on, ever since Kiss, hard rock and furry porn have been the same thing.

·         "You know what, Black? I wouldn't have it any other way. Dreams save us. Dreams lift us up and transform us. And on my soul, I swear... until my dream of a world where dignity, honor and justice becomes the reality we all share - I'll never stop fighting. Ever." - Superman

• Batman knows who the real enemy is. While everyone is busy looking up in the sky, or down at the Earth or at Wonder Woman's breasts, Batman... he looks towards the writer.

• For years scientists have theorized that one day Nicolas Cage would overact so badly that his head would burst into flames. Now, with Ghost Rider, the phenomenon has finally come to pass.

• I see where this is going. ...
  
  Cap gets shot in the head and dies. The entire Marvel U goes into a period of mourning, but shortly after the Punisher starts fighting crime as Captain America. A Little after that Tony designs his "Iron Cap" armor followed by Ronin-Cap in NA.
  
  Next year after the real Cap comes back, he will develop bizarre electric powers and get a new costume. After that he will split into Cap Red, Cap White and Cap Blue.

• In all honesty, if you duct-tape two Gamecubes together, they'd still be more powerful than one Wii.

• Who knows Superman/Clark better, Bruce or Lois?

      Clark gave Bruce the more expensive ring.

      Are we talking knowledge like, in depth secret sharing?
      Bruce.
      Are we talking about passionate, intimate, carnal knowledge?
      Bruce.

• I think we all know that if Ash and Wonder Woman went head to head it would simply result in the birth of Han Solo.

• In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. - Mark Twain

• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Campbell in the chin. When Chuck woke up a month later, he was hawking fitness equipment.

• Tch, Chuck Norris, the man created the universe by getting his roundhouse blocked by Mr. T.

• For everyone who says Galactus cannot appear in a movie, I have 6 words for you. 6 words that end one of the greatest sequences ever to be in a movie, that will explain how he could be the way he is: "It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man."

• All we learned from the whole situation was that Harry can’t flip an omelet and Mary Jane is a whore. Although these were all things established in the first two movies.

• "Silent Hill is like Resident Evil's older brother that spends his time reading literature instead of playing Duck Hunt."

• Try to fix this event: Civil War

      Hulk returns in the end, and instead of smashing goes on Larry King. After seeing the Green Goliath explain calmly and clearly how he felt victimized by his former friends, everyone else decides they may just need to take a step back and re-evaluate what they're doing before they end up in some Marjory useless conflict that endangers innocent lives and property.

      Steve and Tony sit down over coffee. Peter drops off some bagels. George W. Bush flies to the SHIELD Helicarrier and personally *****-slaps Maria Hill. A little boy holding a balloon points to a rainbow in the sky, and an eagle flies over. And then, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, Hulk Hogan walks down a street and gets surrounded a mob of young children who all cheer and celebrate his awesomeness.

      Did my plot get sidetracked? Sure it did. But I have a standing theory that, no  matter the effort, no plot could possibly get derailed as badly as Civil War's did. It's just a theory, though.

• So Cap is now buried in the Artic, where the Avengers originally found him. Because Iron Man said "Steve would have wanted it that way."

      I'm sorry; I thought our war heroes were buried in Arlington National Cemetery.
      Did Tony at least spring for a proper coffin, or was there still some canvas tarp left over from Goliath's funeral?

      No, No. In honor of being unable to shrink Bill down to normal size, Hank and co. micro-sized Steve and put him in a Tylenol capsule. They figure it'll average out to one normal sized burial that way.

• The fact is, if some gamers didn't appreciate attractive characters then there would be no Lara Croft, no Ayane, Kasumi or Helena, no Jenny, no Rayne, no Kitana (Mileena was scary), no Samus Aran, no Yuna, no Jill Valentine, no Tifa, no Jade, no Rikku, no Cammy or Chun Li, no Peach (haha) and no Ms. Pac-Man.
  
  Seriously - I don't want to live in a world without Ms. Pac-Man.

• To play a paladin right, just keep one simple phrase in mind; WWOPD? That is, "What would Optimus Prime do?"

• IN A.D. 2007 FOURTH EDITION WAS BEGINING
  CAPTAIN: WHAT HAPPEN
  MECHANIC: SOMEONE SET US UP THE ERRATA
  CAPTAIN: WHAT?
  MECHANIC: WE GET NEW EDITION. PHB TURN ON.
  CAPTAIN: ITS YOU
  WOTC: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN. ALL YOUR D&D ARE BELONG TO US
  CAPTAIN: WHAT YOU SAY?
  WOTC: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO RESIST MAKE YOUR UPDATE HA HA HA
  CAPTAN: MOVE DICE FOR GREAT RE-ROLL. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DOING TAKE OFF EVERY +2

• Man, there would be nothing more badass than a guy with a giant sword facing off guys on motorcycles (that manage to totally rape the laws of physics) whilst riding a giant, armored chicken.

• Rorschach: There is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon, I shall not compromise this.

• Y'know, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can't let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of justice! Bad dog! Bad dog! And you don't do it for money. No! You do it for love! You know, I've learned something this week... on justice and on friendship, there is no price. But there are established credit limits.

• Well you know what they say:
  It's the context that makes the difference between a Dick and a Hero with Time Machines.

• When hooters jiggle around,
  and I find nickels on the ground, I care.
  When a mustang engine purrs,
  and the bathroom is not hers, I care.
  When the pitcher's on the mound,
  and the wife is underground, I care.
  But when I've been playing this for days,
  I will kill anyone who stays, I swear!

• "So, uh, it's nice to meet you and all, you seem like a great guy and I don't want to be rude, but we're both guys, and I don't exactly, you know..."
  "GALACTUS IS AS FAR ABOVE YOUR DEFINITION OF MASCULINE AND FEMININE AS YOU ARE ABOVE PARAMECIUM WHO REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY."
  "Oh. Well still to me you look like an 80 foot tall guy and it's a little.... intimidating."
  "GALACTUS IS AS YOU PERCEIVE HIM."
  "Right, I get that. I'm just not sure how this would work; I mean.... look issues of gender aside for a minute, I just don't really think we have that much in common. I mean you're a cosmic force of nature who is devouring my planet as we speak, and I work for AT&T in that office building over there.... or at least I did until that giant machine of destruction you deployed tore through it."
  "I HAVE HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD YOUR WORDS, YET I CANNOT BUT IGNORE THE MEANING BEHIND THEM, AS THEY ARE ONLY THE BLOWING OF WIND TO ONE SUCH AS GALACTUS."
  "So, separate checks then?"

• Sins Past is probably part of the Anti-Life Equation, what with everyone denying it exists to protect themselves.

• Alcohol is pointless. If you need to drink to give yourself balls, you shouldn’t be a man any longer.

• Doom did not Cry... It only appeared as if he did. Doom wasn't there, it was a Doombot. It was leaking motor fluid. In reality that was just a prototype Doombot that ran on the tears of babies.

• Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late. ~ Thomas Sowell

• One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances. ~ Thomas Sowell

• Monk is not mental ill, he's a detective. If he were mentally ill he'd be Batman.

• Conflicting jobber auras cause them to both win, while supervillains everywhere lose. Even if they're not involved. Like, SG and Cap shake hands and Ultron out in space suddenly slips on a banana peel.

• That's right, folks. Phil Lamarr: if you're black and animated, odds are you're voice Lamarr.

      By the way, I know what you're thinking, but there is a Keith David exemption and a Michael Dorn side rule. Not to mention the Beau Billingsley Anime Reform of '97...

 

• Never thought I'd be listing a positive about Cyclops... but while I can buy emo-whiney Spider-man makin' a deal with Mephisto, there's no way in hell I'd believe Cyclops would make that kind of deal. For one, I'm sure he's attending Nightcrawler's seminar on what to do when presented with a deal with Mephisto.
  
  "You PUNCH HIM! In the FACE!"
  "Is this gonna be on the test?"
  "It IS the test! Now, for illustrative purposes, I made a Mephisto dummy

• "If A is a success in life, then A = X + Y + Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut." -Albert Einstein.

• Amidst the mists and coldest frosts,
  with stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
  he thrusts his fist against the posts
  and still insists he sees the ghosts.

• Me vs. Joker
  - I'ma walk down the street.
  - I'ma head into a dark alley.
  - Joker turns a corner and starts to approach me(most likely to gas me for laughs).
  - I make full use of my(theoretical) concealed weapon permit and shoot the crazy bastard until he's dead.

     -Batman makes sure I go to prison for life without parole, because he's too much    of a crackpot to just be grateful that I saved him years of work.
     - Joker wins.

• What is this Transformers movie you speak of? I don't recall such a film being made. I do remember this movie about a dorky teenager trying to get laid, and there might have been some giant robots that maybe could have been Transformers in the background or something. I think it was called "Sam's Happy Time".

• "If a man comes at me with fists, then I'll meet him with fists. But if he pulls out a gun, or threatens people that I'm protecting, then he's made his choice. He'll have to live ...or die with It." ~ Wolverine

• A summary: You don't explain Silent Hill, Silent Hill explains you.

• They're all Skrulls. The entire Marvel Universe. Everything in Marvel continuity has been the dreams of Captain America during the period of time he was encased in ice.

• Anti-Life is great. It's like a long, slow, perfect kiss by a beautiful woman who tastes of strawberries.
  
  Except the strawberries are Darkseid. And the woman is also Darkseid.
  
  And then he slips you the tongue.
  
  Awesome.

• If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

• Guile would do that upside-down jump kick he does(the close range HK normal, not Flash Kick) and Cap would die of a heart attack figuring out how something so awesome can exist.

• Truthfully, if Batman was in the MU during Civil War he would have ignored all of that "Superheroes punching each other over ideals" bullcrap and actually taken the time to find out who was REALLY behind Stamford being destroyed (Nitro), taken him down, marched right into Congress (during session I might add) and tossed him in the middle of the floor gift wrapped before the damn thing was even voted into a bill.

• It would be awesome if the whole red hulk arc was retconned to a comic book in world and the hulk was reading it while on the toilet

• "The Eye" made me wish I had crazy visions, because I’m sure it would’ve been more entertaining than the movie. Not much things worse than a horror/suspense/etc with no actual sense of danger. I’ve seen Rugrats episodes where the kids were in more peril. They acted better too.

• My last relevant thought was “You know, if DOOM was the Sorcerer Supreme, he wouldn’t just get blue back, he’d give us colors we never had before.” He’d call them Doom, Light Doom, Doomish Yellow, and RICHARDS!! The Hated Color. – HitTheTargets
   
• I think most people are out touch with movie critics because any type of intellectual thought is seen as some sort of attack upon them. ~WarlockQuan
   

• "Fear not your enemies, for they can only kill you; fear not your friends, for they can only betray you; fear only the indifferent who permit killers and betrayers to walk safely on the Earth."-- Edward Yashinsky